> Seb
>  How  do u  psych yourself into approaching a milf on the stret?  NOBODY
> SEEMS TO KNOW
>  CL

Okay CL -
Here’s the deal. First, consider logically: What do you have to lose, and what do you have to gain? The worst thing that happens on an approach is that you get a mild sting. The best is you meet a woman that literally changes your life. People aren’t even hostile when they don’t like you - just indifferent. Which does sting yeah. But it’s NOTHING compared to winding up with a girlfriend who was a Cirque du Soleil trained acrobat - editor of a fashion magazine and TV personality - international model - club dancer - or something along those lines. Those are all women I’ve been blessed enough to have in my life from various approaches.

Okay, so sitting at home, realize: Nothing to lose, everything to gain.

Now, here’s the secret: When you see a cute girl, just GO! Don’t think, go! Ok? Go!

That’s it. Nervousness, adrenalin, getting “jacked up” or “nerves firing” - it happens. It stops with time. Just go, and do ANYTHING. Don’t think too much. Good luck and have fun.

-S

Sebastian,

All i want is to share mindsets,beliefs and inner game stuff. I thrive on that. My mind controls my body, my body controls my actions. Its the mindset and internal beliefs , along with structured game and a way to project your internal self is what brings success. I ask, what are your core beliefs Sebastian? Your core internal workings, what goes through ur mind upon approach? during the initial pick up? what are your mindsets and beliefs about your self and PU?

Your input would be warmly welcomed, and thanks.

God bless and stay healthy =)
Peace out for now
-M

What a lovely question - I believe it was Aristotle who said, “The unexamined life is not worth living” - The background of my laptop has a beautiful picture of Manhattan, with the following words written in white across the bottom:

“Elevate my friends - Strive for balance in my life - Better the world every single day - Trend upwards.”

What that all means:

Elevate my friends: By this, I don’t just mean my “inner-circle”; I mean anyone who is cooperative and a decent person. Elevate everyone who works with you and helps you better the world. Of course, treat close friends exceptionally well - give them the world.

Strive for balance in my life: While it’s hard, I don’t believe in selling out mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual health for one or the other. No matter how busy, make time for books, writing, good people, and exercise.

Better the world every single day: I look constantly for opportunities do small good things - it gets noticed. I make a point to make real eye contact and greet anyone I buy things from, grocery clerks, bagel servers, etc. These people are largely ignored despite interacts with hundreds per day - a “how’s the day treating you?” and real eye contact goes a long, long way. Hand your cell phone to someone fighting to get a payphone working if you’re going to be standing there a moment.

Trend upwards: So many people want what they want, right now, and if they don’t get it - well, they’ll, they’ll… stop and watch TV because they’re frustrated? Success doesn’t happen immediately in a lot of things, so I try to make incremental improvement all the time. If you go in the right direction for long enough, you’ll get there.

For what I advocate focusing on during a Pickup, check out “Lo-Tech Solutions for Smart People”. It’s got a few points in it, but definitely check out the details about what to think about when out in field under “Focus”.

Beyond that, one thing I really recommend everyone does for their inner-game is go out into the world sometime and really size up the men around you. The reason most people are insecure is because they compare themselves to their “ideal self” - thinking, “I could do more, I could be more, I should go the gym more, I should’ve gotten better grades, I should be making more money, I wish I was more productive…” and so on. But the thing is, you’re not competing with your ideal self. Go look at the guys around at the mall, or the average bar or club. How many of them, really, would a given woman choose over you?

Other things I believe about women and people -

A woman’s life is better for having me in it.

Women have to meet my standards.

There’s many stars in the sky, and we have different people who are right for us at different times in our life. Nothing is permanent. Relationships aren’t “lost” when they’re over; they’re concluded, and you’ve both had lessons to learn and grow from.

There’s many right people for any one person throughout their lives.

Women like being around and support men who are masculine and take what they want from the world. Political correctness aside, women like to feel like women.

Not everyone is going to like what you do at any given time - and it doesn’t matter. The greatest of all-time at anything had people who disliked or detracted from them. That’s okay, because I’ll get enough of the kind of people I want in my life, in it.

A few other points about me, for those who are curious: I have a strong belief in God and doing good things for the world. I love philosophy and enjoy art. Curious like a kid. Stack of books at my place. Lift weights. Free market economist - socially liberal, fiscally conservative. Live and let live, and never impose my beliefs unsolicited, but always willing to speak if people are interested. Feel best when I’m making a difference doing something I believe in.

Thanks for writing in, and best,

Sebastian

–

You can get your questions answered by writing ask@theapproach.com - For best chance of getting your question published, make all questions detailed and to the point. Thanks for reading.

This doesn’t need to be followed verbatim, but every element serves a purpose.

Suggest an activity to do with her.
When she says yes, say, “Right, do you have a cell?”
Type her number into your cell.
Ask, “Do you have Caller ID?”
When she says yes, say, “Okay. I’m hitting dial - my number will show
up on your screen.”
Wait for your number to show up on her screen, then press end. Don’t
hold the phone to your ear while calling.
Spell your name for her, especially if it’s a generic name.

Sounds like a lot? It’s really simple, but every element is designed
for maximum effectiveness.

It looks like this:

“There’s a cool gallery opening up soon. We should go.”
Her: “Okay.”
“Right, do you have a cell?”
She’ll nod or say yes.
“Okay… 212…3444….4444… Do you have Caller ID?”
She nods or says yes.
“Okay. I’m hitting dial - my number will show up on your screen.”
It does (her phone starts ringing - if it doesn’t, try again. if she
says, “Oh, my phone isn’t on me/it’s my home phone/etc” it’s a bad
number and throw it away after you’ve left her company)
“Cool. Now my name is spelled just like it sounds. B-O-B.”

A few key points:

You’re making the focus doing the activity with her; not trying to her number (that’s why you suggest an activity first).

You ask, “Do you have a cell?” - You don’t even MENTION the word “number”, which has a bad rep and potentially sets off player alarm.

Caller ID ensures she has your number. That means she’s more likely to answer if she likes you (you were in trouble anyway if she doesn’t like you, and girls are less likely to answer unknown numbers - MUCH less likely).

(as an added bonus, if the number is fake you’ll know right away, though you’ll find that happening less and less)

You spell your name in case she’s forgotten it.

Solid formula. You’ll never hear, “I don’t give my number out” if you practice like this. Then remember: The first step after getting her number is to text her before you ever call. Text her within 24 hours if you met at a nightclub, within 48 hours if you met in the daytime. Texts should be friendly; first texts should never tease, bust, or insult unless you had a dynamic that was strongly like that. Stress friendship when you text. “happy to make friends with u :)” is not a bad first text.

Have fun!

Sebastian

One of the very most crucial things that you ought to master is the
ability to recognize and hit hard in a window of opportunity. You’ll
never, ever wind up in the friend zone as long as you do two things:

Get compliance (make her work to meet your standards and please you),
and always take windows of opportunity.

A window of opportunity is any time she encourages you to escalate:

If you miss a window of opportunity, it’s bad for value and it’s bad
for attainability: It makes the girl question if you’re a guy of high
status. And if you are of high status, then she figures she doesn’t
stand a chance. So, you must hit windows of opportunity hard.

Here’s some common verbal ones, and good default answers to them:

In bars and nightclubs:

“This place is lame.”
Response: “Totally. Let’s get out of here.”

“I’m hungry.”
-> “Me too, I know this great Thai place nearby. You like Thai?”

“I love this song!”
-> “C’mon, let’s go dance” (if you like to dance)

At closing time:

“I still want to drink…”
-> “Yeah, I know a good spot nearby.” (go to your place)

“I still want to dance.”
-> “Really? Cool, I know a good spot.” (go to a club nearby you like,
a party, or your place)

“I’m not tired…”
-> “Me neither… I’m hitting up an afterparty, come along.” (go to
your place)

“I’ve got [food, drink, tea, coffee, whatever] at my place.”
-> “Yeah? Let’s stop by there in a while.”

First meeting, daytime or nightime:

“I know this really cool [place].”
-> “Sounds neat - you should totally take me.” (if she says yes, set
a time right then, and get her number)

“I cook a really good veal parmesean.”
-> “Oh that sounds delicious, I’m dying for a homecooked meal. Make
it for me… next, hmm… Tuesday night, six o’clockish?” (if she
says yes, get her number. if she says no to the time, say “another
time, then” and get her number)

“I’m about to head to a party after this…”
-> “Hmm… yeah, that sounds okay. Alright, sure, I’ll go” (say it
like you’re seriously weighing out the option after being invited -
if she blinks heavily at that, just smile a joking smile and laugh)

In response to you mentioning…

A new CD, DVD, book of art, or something else you just got:
“Oh, that sounds really cool!”
-> “Yeah, it is. I’ll show you [right now/sometime]” (and take her
with you right then, or get her number as appropriate)

There’s also many nonverbal windows of opportunity, including things
like cuddling up to you, getting closer to you, etc. If you miss one
of these, it’s very important that you DO NOT immediately try to
compensate by going for it. If you miss a spot to physically escalate,
wait and go for it in a bit.

Here’s some of the more subtle yet more potentially powerful windows
of opportunity to take:

At or near your place:

“It’s such a long drive home…”
-> “Yeah… well… I guess you can stay the night, but I’ve got to
be up really early in the morning.”

“The weather is so bad…”
-> “Shit… Yeah, I guess you’re right. Hmm.. well, I guess you can
stay the night, but I’ve got to be up really early in the morning.”

“Oh, I’ve had a lot to drink.”
-> “Whoa. No way you’re driving then. I’ll either call you a cab and
you can come back for your car in the morning, or you can crash and
head out in the morning.” (if she protests, say, “no! you’re not
driving, period.”)

“Do you have roommates?”
-> (answer honestly, but realize it’s a window of opportunity, so
invite her back either way)

At or near her place:

“You’ve had a lot to drink, huh?”
-> “Damn… I guess so. Yeah, ok, got a couch to put me up for the
night? Wait, and an alarm? I need to get up early.”

“You look tired.”
-> “Yeah, I am. Can I crash here for like an hour or so before I’ve
got to head back? I can’t stay too long though…”

Any time she asks about where you live, mentions where she lives,
says anything that refers to logistics including cabs, cars, or
distances, says anything that limits mobility or driving ability
including drinking, tiredness, weather, or distance, any time she
mentions that one of you has something that she likes or thinks is
interesting -

These are windows of opportunity. Girls simply won’t say them to guys
that they don’t like on some level. Always try to escalate them;
usually it will work. Have fun, keep playin’,

Sebastian

Maybe the most powerful two words you can ever speak, said right,
these will cover more ground for you with women than anything else.

Men make the mistake of trying to logically analyze things when often
a woman just wants an outlet to release her thoughts. So try this:

Whenever she starts saying something that you don’t understand,
before you try to logically deconstruct it, try nodding once and
saying,

“I understand.”

If she starts going on about problems she’s had, try:

“I understand, that sounds tough.”

If she says something quickly about having a bad day, just like one
of her shoes broke or one of her coworkers was mean, try:

“Sounds tough.”

Nothing else. Let her keep talking, and get it off her chest. One
major difference I’ve observed over the years is that successful men
say less and get her saying more, and don’t judge or analyze what
she’s saying most of the time.

The flipside is, when you rarely give input into her affairs, she’ll
actually be way more likely to listen to you when something important
comes up.

I understand.
I understand, that sounds tough.
Sounds tough.

Use them regularly - you’ll come across higher status, women will be
more attracted to you, they’ll be happier around you, and on the
rare occasion that you do speak up, they’ll be listening.

Sebastian
–
http://www.theapproach.com