To get a girl attracted to your goals takes the same thing it takes
to attract anyone to anything…

You guessed it:

Value
Attainability
Compliance

Value: Obviously, a goal will have value to you if you’re doing it. She
should be on the same page with that value… so it’s easier to get
the average girl to support you in, say, becoming a healthier eater
than it is to help you score some drugs. For most women, her man
achieving his goals is value in and of itself, so winning a
tournament, or doing a good job at work - while not direct value
for her - become valuable.

Attainability: She should see that once you improve in value, her
life is enriched by it as opposed to having you taken away. So your
girl might work against you getting into an international school if
it means you’ll never see each other again. In practical terms,
this means she should be able to see herself sharing in the value
you build. Qualify her on it - especially if it’s something that
creates an obvious jump in status, like a better physique, or say,
becoming a doctor. Girls are naturally afraid guys will dump them
and “trade up” when they can - alleviate those fears.

Compliance: The more work or effort she puts in to aiding you in
your goal, the more she becomes attracted to the goal. So if you
ask your girl, “Can you pick up a few cans of a tuna on the way
over to my place?” and she does, then you thank her with, “Thanks
for getting that for me, tuna is really great after I work out.
You’re the best.” This’ll actually make her more attracted to your
goal of getting fit with her help, even though she didn’t know she
was on board with it at first. Similarly, when she does know, the
more she does, the better. Textbook compliance.

***
PART II: LETTING HER FEEL LIKE SHE MADE YOU:

A girl helping you reach a goal is +V+A+C… it makes the girl more
attracted to you. You’re more valuable after achieving your goal,
she understands that you’re compatible because you worked together
to accomplish something, and her working towards your goal is
working towards impressing and pleasing you.

But what if you don’t need her help at all? Many times, a resolute
man makes changes in his life without consulting the many women in
his life. It’s potentially a mistake -

By increasing your value on your own, you get the +V. But it can
actually hurt attainability - she’ll wonder, “Can a girl like me
get a guy like him?” When she actually feels she MADE you into what
you are, she’s more likely to understand that you two are
compatible and she can have you. Also, the compliance is obviously
not there.

Hell, even look at the value - Recruiting other good people in your
life to work on common goals and being open about what you want to
achieve is MORE valuable than stubborn “I do it myself” stuff.
Sure, the rugged independance is valuable, but being a strong
leader and sharing with people is even more so.

So, here’s what you do -

Whenever you’re embarking on a new endeavor, you can use it as an
opportunity to make your girlfriend(s) more attracted. Before you
start, call them up, and say, “Sweetie, I’m making a real push to
get more healthy and lift weights. Can I count on you for some
moral support, make sure I don’t eat poorly around you and you only
cook healthy stuff, and get a backrub when I’m sore?”

Normally, you’d then actually have your girl help you, and qualify
her on helping you. So you’d have her cook salmon on brown rice,
and then qualify her, “Baby, thanks so much for cooking for me.
You’re a real sweetheart.” Once you achieve your goal, you qualify
her that she “made you” on it -

“Thank you sweetie, I feel so good now. I wouldn’t have been able
to do without you.”

But if you don’t actually need her help, and still want the +V+A+C?

“Sweetie, I’m going to get my hair cut tomorrow. Got any
recommendations?”

Her: “Yes, well…………………………..”
You: “Uh-huh, okay, go on.”
Her: “And….. and so…. and then….”
You: “Oh wow, that’s really great. Thanks.”

After the haircut, text all the girls you asked:

“Thanks for the advice sweetie. I didn’t do exactly what you
suggested, but it did change up what I was going to get and it
looks great! Thanks! Kisses”

So, formula for getting girls helping you:

*Tell her you want her help, and qualify her.
*Qualify her as she puts in work and helps you.
*Qualify her after you achieve or see progress in your goal.

Formula for letting her feel like she’s helping you, even if she
isn’t, to make her more attracted to you:

*Tell her you want her help, and qualify her.
*Qualify her occasionally on helping you if it’s a long term goal.
*Qualify her after you achieve or see progress in your goal.

It works either way. Get her involved, and she’ll love you all the
more. Added bonus - the more people you tell about your goals, the
more likely you are to follow through with them. Keep playin’…

Sebastian

Gentlemen -

I must confess something to you all. The fact is, we never
really know what anyone else is thinking. All we can do is
make educated guesses, ferret out common patterns, and produce
information about situations based on what works.

So straight up, to answer the ages old question, we never really
know why a woman rejects us. But we’ve found that in the vast, vast
majority of the time a girl isn’t attracted, it’s one of Value,
Attainability, or Compliance.

Where’s this go? I get this question probably every fourth program
- “How do I know if I’m low value?” It’s the hardest question to
answer, because it’s near impossible for someone to diagnose after
fixing their value. Put this way - you can tank attainability and
watch what happens, you can not get compliance and see what
happens, but no matter how hard a high value guy tries to emulate a
low value guy, he can’t… really… do it.

So instead, I present this to you:

The reason, I believe, that a man possesses the belief that he is
low value is because he compares himself to his ideal self. He
looks and says, “I could be more honest, I could be strong, I could
be more healthy, I could be a harder worker, I could be more
wealthy, I could be more consistent….” He makes a list of things
he could be, but it is not, and it is - in fact - depressing.

But it ignores the reality of the matter. The fact is, you’re not
competing with your “ideal self” for women. Whether you’re valuable
or not has little to do with whether you’re perfect or not - and
everything to do with how you stack up to what fulfills women’s
needs, and to some extent the men around you.

So if you want to really free yourself - go look around the mall
sometime in the next week. Look at the men with women. Are they all
gigantically muscled, extremely rich, massively fashionable
outgoing intensely hard-working overachievers?

(No.)

What to do to become valuable is to work on your own life and also
the perception of being valuable. Some major pieces include:

*Having a good “Nonverbal Image Projection” - this is one of the
core tenets of theApproach about value. It’s getting value without
having to consciously do anything: Good bodylanguage, with
shoulders back and broad, chest out, stomach in, and head up.
Relaxed and fluid. Graceful movement. High value walking patterns,
and avoiding what we call “the polite zone” - the place people
stand when they’re meeting a complete stranger (either get inside
the polite zone when opening, or outside it, but never in it. It’s
slightly outside handshake distance in the United States, and
varies by country)

*Mastering Situational Relevance - this is saying things that jive
with the situation. Situational Relevance comes down to three
elements: Context, Energy level, and Comprehension level. Context
can be molded consciously, energy level is person specific (there’s
hyper girls in the library, and relaxed girls at loud dance clubs),
and comprehension level is inversely proportional to stimulus. Low
Comp vs. High Comp is an interesting and long talk… many guys
don’t like one or the other, but learning how to vibe in both means
you can be valuable in any of those areas.

*Focus - Girls don’t want guys who desperately chase girls. It’s a
turnoff. We encourage you to focus on things in the following order:

-Primary: Charge the Venue. 50-65% of Mental Energy. In order, make
sure you’re having fun, socialize, and make other people have fun.
If you’re not having fun, do what you enjoy, and failing that, use
nonverbal/playful openers and take on the mannerisms of a person
enjoying themself. Never be rude to anyone - even someone rude to
you - try to make everyone you interact with enjoy their night more.

-Secondary: Make Connections and See if People Meet Your Standards.
25-30% of your Mental Energy. Here you try to relate with people
and find common ground, and then see if they’d be compatible and
welcome to your life. You’re not trying to please people, you’re
trying to see if they measure up to what you want.

-Tertiary: Logistics, VAC, Tactics, and Everything Else. 5-25% of
mental energy MAX. Tactics, logistics, et cetra come after you’re
enjoying yourself and focusing on socializing and everyone else
having a nice time.

By combing the three above - Nonverbal Image, Situational
Relevanace, and a good Focus - you’ll be way ahead of where most
guys are. Most have poor body language and scurry around, can’t get
appropriate comments and interesting conversational subjects up,
and are desperately needy and trying to get laid. There’s lots more
to be done for value, but don’t judge yourself against your “ideal
self” as to whether you deserve women or not. You do. Go walk
around a mall and look at the all those “schmucks” with cute girls.
Go get ‘em!

Sebby