Hey gents -

I was cleaning out my hard drive today, going through old docs.
Here’s a piece that was part of a roughed up introduction to a
piece I was writing on Mutual Value Escalation. For those of you
who haven’t heard, it used to be something I was stressing all the
time: In an interaction, winning more via the people you’re
interacting with winning. To put it this way - If you start at a
value of “6″ and she starts at “7″, you’ve got issues, no? Some men
would suggest you knock her down to grab some status. Maybe a +1
you, -1 her. So you go to 7, and she goes to 6, and then you have a
shot. The problem is - she’s now “damaged goods” - you’ve now got a
girl whose not living up to her potential, somewhat insecure, that
might lash back at you. Sure, it’s better than what most guys do -
“Can I buy you a drink?” Which is -1 guy, +1 girl. So the guy goes
down to a 5 and the girl takes a bitchy 8 stance. Now, of course
putting a number to your social status is pretty arbitrary and
ridiculous - but the idea stands.

Here’s the excerpt from the old, uncompleted work:

***

During any social interaction, one of five things is happening:

-You’re winning, they’re losing. (”taking”, being a “taker”)
-You’re losing, they’re winning. (”giving”, being a “giver”)
-You’re both winning. (”escalating”, being a “leader”)
-You’re both losing. (”degrading”, being a “degrader”)
-Nothing is changing. (neutral interaction)

This is what we call “mutual value”. Two people have their value
constantly play on each other. The maximum benefit you can get out
of any interaction will be being a mutual value escalator, also
known as a leader. This will be the methods we teach, though we
will also delve a little bit into how to take from someone’s
expense if they’re being disrespectful or rude. In other words, if
they’re to take from you, we’ll turn the tables on them.

***

To put it into numbers, again, you’re a “male 6″, she’s a “female 7″

Originally:
You: 6
Her: 7

Do nothing:
You: 6
Her: 7

Supplicate/fawn:
You: 5
Her: 8

Supplicate really, really badly:
You: 2
Her: 7

Try to “knock her off her pedestal”:
You: 7
Her: 6

But my favorite is to raise the other person up. The fact is, a
confident leader that makes people always better, always stronger
around him, has his own value perceived to be increased in the
process. If people feel stronger around you, and you carry yourself
well and confidently in the process, then you gain even more.

So mutual value escalation:

Her: 8

She went up… and you’re only a 6, right? Wrong! Improving people
in a confident, genuine way that upholds your standards and doesn’t
supplicate actually increases YOUR value!

So, originally:

You: 6
Her: 7

Raise her value up through high standards, praise, leading, and
showing genuine interest and appreciate for her:

You: 9+
Her: 8+

The numbers are arbitrary and ridiculous, but the point stands -
leading people to be the best people they can be increases your
social value more than anything else you could do. You do have to
have base value to begin with to even start this process, but if
you do, confident leading and raising people up will increase your
value higher than anything else you could do. The only time you
“take” from people - gain social value at their expense - is when
they’re incapable of mutual value escalation. Those people you beat
down as appropriate, or when employing subtlety, use the retarded
look and other forms of minor social pressure and withdrawing your
time. Thankfully, the vast majority of people (including beautiful
women!) are capable of mutual value escalation, and respond well to
confident leaders that guide them gently to being the best person
they could be.

Sebastian

There is no doubt that having standards and holding women to them
is good for both value and compliance. It shows you have value in
that you can afford to have standards and think well of yourself,
that you deserve a quality woman. It’s good for compliance when you
hold her to your standards and she tries to meet them.

On top of all that, after she meets one of your standards, you can
reward her for it and show her that that qualifies her to be with
you - which increases attainability.

Screening is, in short, a good thing. But a lot of times, guys have
a hard time making screening questions Situationally Relevant. They
aren’t able to create the context necessary to screen.

What you can do in place of screening questions is use
statement-based screening. It’s screening in a way that doesn’t ask
her if she meets your standards, but instead puts your standards
out there and offers her the opportunity to show she meets them.
This begins to work once you’ve base compliance and she’s started
to initially get attracted to you.

What you do, quite simply, is put out a statement as to what you
like or don’t like. If the girl likes you, she’ll want to show she
meets that standard.

Example:

Screening question: “Can you cook?”
Screening statement: “I like girls that can cook.”

This also has great application for screening in response to a
story she had, where a question might be very verbose.

For instance, a great thing to screen women on is having female
friends in addition to male friends. Trust me on this one, you
don’t want a girlfriend that can’t get along with other girls.

So if the girl is talking about how she doesn’t like most girls and
doesn’t get along with them, you can drop a screening statement: “I
hear you, girls can be tough. I think it’s really important to have
friends that are guys and girls though.” -> This is almost
guaranteed to get her backpedalling and trying to impress upon and
to you that she has female friends too.

The great thing about screening statements is that they’re actually
more compliance than passing a screening question. While there’s a
social obligation to answer a reasonable question you’re asked, it
feels to her like she’s just volunteering that she’s up to your
standards when you make a statement. And on the flipside, you’re
putting less effort in - so she’s giving you more effort after
you’ve put in less. A good formula.

Now, realize one last cool piece of the puzzle. Girls - especially
very beautiful girls with great social skills - often use
screening-based statements on men. They’ll mention in passing that
they value something or other, and most men will jump to say
they’re that.

Instead, a good answer is to just smile and agree with her, perhaps
saying the word, “Cool.”

Examples:

Girl: “I really think what car a guy drives says a lot about him.”
You: “Cool.”

Girl: “I expect my boyfriends to take me out to really nice places.”
You: “Cool.”

It dismisses the screen from her without being combative. You
smile, and say something like, “Cool.” Very high value stuff.

Keep playin’,

Sebastian

Have you ever wondered about what causes women to feel that burning desire to be with someone? How come a man with seemingly nothing going on can get women obsessed with them? Why many men sit in “idle mode” with women even though they’ve got lots going on?

In the last five years, the field being labelled as “seduction” has made leaps and bounds. Many men are realizing that they don’t need to accept the limited social skills they were able to figure out themselves through their high school and college years, and are setting to making a real change in their lives.

And yet through it all, no one had defined attraction. You might have read somewhere that doing something created attraction, or that something else was unattractive, but WHY WAS THAT?

It was a million dollar question. That has finally been answered.

***

The bestselling novel “The Game” by Neil Strauss chronicles the journey of one man - Neil, a music critic and freelance journalist. In the book, he goes from being an uber-nerd to a veritable stud with women - despite being 5′6 and unaesthetically pleasing. We’ll use some excerpts from the book as case-studies in explaining attraction.

***

Attraction is a result of three things. Every time someone is attracted to something, these three things will be present. Every time these three things are present in something for someone, that person will be attracted to it.

If these things are present, a woman will be attracted to you. Every single time.

THE THREE COMPONENTS OF ATTRACTION:

Value, Attainability, and Compliance.

***

VALUE

“Value” is something that fills a conscious or subconscious need for a person. What is valuable is unique to every single person, but there are a set of traits that are valuable to almost everyone. These traits - like confidence, charisma, and leadership - are valuable to almost any woman. Many traits will be valuable to one type of woman but not another.

There traits that are almost universally valuable (and thus, attractive) should be universally developed, so that you’re perceived as having them with minimal effort on your part.

Many of our techniques focus on these, while some of them are traits from other parts of your life that are good to develop. Twenty of the most common universally valuable traits follow:

Ambition

Charisma*

Confidence*

Creativity

Desire to Reproduce*

Dominance*

Emotionally Steadfast*

Empathy*

Health

Humor*

Intelligence

Leadership*

Passion For Something in Life

Popular*

Protects One’s Own

Quick Reflexes

Quick Wit*

Sociable*

Survival Instincts

Worldliness

The items with asterisks are developed directly by social training. More than half of them - That’s more than any other sub-set of life. Our interactions with people dominate how our value is assessed. Many of the other traits on the list can be demonstrated even if not already possessed. How?

***

THE THREE WAYS VALUE IS PERCEIVED

1. Presence: If you’ve ever seen a great comedian, often he’ll walk onto stage, and just STARE at the crowd until - they start laughing. This is a person with the presence of a sense of humor. Likewise, a very confidence person seems to just ooze or eminate confidence. A healthy person need do no more than be present to show he is healthy.

This path takes significant time to develop, but once you’ve done it - you need make no effort. If you develop yourself into a charismatic person, which can be done with training and practice, then you simply need to do no more than show up for people to know you’re charismatic. You have that presence.

2. The Appearance: “A prince need not possess princely qualities. He merely needs the appearance of princely qualities.” - Niccolo Machiavelli

Machiavelli is largely right. If you’re not a leader, you can still develop the body language and walking patterns of a confident leader. This will give you the appearance of being a leader. You’ll be perceived as being a leader which is good for your value right away.

By affecting the appearance of a leader, you will be treated as others by a leader. You’ll become more of a leader over time. Developing the appearance of a trait you don’t have, such as popularity, is a crucial step on the way to becoming popular. This is “Fake it ’till you make it” done correctly, and actually making it.

3. Active Demonstration: Not funny? Tell a joke.

Active demonstrations are excellent ways to show people you have a positive trait that you might not actually yet possess. You can take an action or story from someone who does have it, and use it. Not a naturally sociable person? What if you were taught the exact way a sociable person approaches and interacts with people?

People will think you’re sociable. This is the fastest way to show one person you have a trait about you.

For universal value, it’s in your best interest to cultivative the appearance or actually become valuable with time. It can be tedious to have to tell a funny joke to every person you meet so they know you have a sense of humor. But while you’re learning, this is a powerful way to start.

***

KINESTHETICS AND VALUE:

The word Kinesthetic means touching. In the seduction community at large, it’s fondly called “kino”. It means touching another person.

If a man wants to demonstrate he’s comfortable with himself, comfortable with others, dominant, and confident, one way to do all that is to kino. The man can learn about the three good kinds of kino - Playful, protective, and incidental. He can learn a few types of kino, like putting his hand on a woman’s lower back to escort her through a room (protective kino), or taking her hand in his, then spinning her salsa style (playful).

Now he can actively demonstrate he’s comfortable, confident, and dominant.

Over time, he’ll automatically do kino. It becomes normal for him to slap a friend on the back, or to lightly touch someone’s elbow during a handshake the way former President Clinton done, a proven kind of incidental kino that makes others feel comfortable around you.

The man now touches people in a confident, friendly way. He’s now developed the appearance that he’s confident, dominant, and comfortable around himself and others. People will perceive him as having those traits even if he doesn’t have the internal “mettle” yet.

And if that man allows his belief system to develop, he’ll come to actually be comfortable with himself and around other people. At this point, no conscious technique or tactic is necessary: He has simply become a person who is comfortable with himself and around others. He is more confident and dominant, and people see it just by being near him. He is now more universally valuable.

And he knows it.

***

DANGER AND RISK-ADVERSITY: Specifically Valuable Traits

Items like confidence and charisma are universally valuable. Most if not all women want these traits in a man.

Those aren’t it though. Take the example of the “dangerous” man - A guy who seems dangerous, lawless, taking senseless risks and who is just generally out of control.

This guy, leather jacket and long hair in tow, tends to be valuable to younger women who are bored and looking to be defiant.

On the other hand, take a stable risk-adverse guy. He’s got his act together, got a decent job, and doesn’t take risks. While he wouldn’t be very attractive the 19-year-old wild child-type girl, he’s very valuable to decent stable women looking to settle down and raise a family.

This is specific value at work. Some of it is counter-intuitive or surprising. Through field-testing and empirical evidence, us at theApproach have found that many women in their early 30’s who have just gone through a divorce or gotten out of a long term relationship are looking for reckless fun and excitement in their lives. Some popular literature and others’ experiences back us up on that one too…

A lot of men have questions about whether they can get the type of women they want based on certain unchangeable things in their life - Their height, race, age, or birth country.

The answer lies here: While specific value is a huge help to you, a man can get by without having a supposedly “necessary” type of specific value - if he has even MORE universal value.

I was talking to one of my students who I first instructed a few years ago. He’s gone on to become a veritable heartbreaker, I’m sad to say. See, I don’t believe in putting women down hard, I believe in always leaving them better than they were when I found them. But my man - we’ll call him Kaz - lives a busy life and winds up breaking women’s hearts.

Well, Kaz is Asian if you hadn’t realized that. And guess what he hears a lot? “You’re the first Asian guy I’ve ever been attracted to”. But then you know what happens? Post-Kaz-heartbreak, the women start dating Asian guys.

This is how the barriers get broken down. One really high-value guy that’s not normally on the woman’s radar breaks through, and then that specific value - “I only date black guys”, “I only date Asian guys”, “I only date older guys” - is gone. Specific value helps a lot to be sure, but if you’re better than the rest you can get what you want.

***

ATTAINABILITY

Value is a huge part of attraction. A tremendous part. If you don’t have any value, it doesn’t matter at all if she has a shot at that no-value.

But value is pretty easy to appear to have. You already have some in your life, no doubt. If you’re at all driven or successful in anything you do, you’ve got SOME value. You could get more, or at least appear to have more, and we’re going to help you with that.

This raises the age-old question then - “I’m a great guy, but women don’t seem to like me. Why?”

The answer is quite simply - they don’t see that you’re a great guy FOR THEM.

Attainability converts “value” into “value for her life”. It gives her a chance to believe she can have your value and it can enrich her life.

This confuses some men, especially men that have never had really great girlfriends, or are looking for really elite women that they might perceive as beyond them.

Consider this: What woman in your own life drove you absolutely crazy? Close your eyes and imagine her.

Got her? That girl that kept your up at night?

That you daydreamed about? Know who I’m talking about?

Okay. Got her?

Is it…

Pamela Anderson?

Cindy Crawford?

Lucy Liu?

Mariah Carrey?

Carmen Electra?

Charlize Theron?

Or any other really beautiful actress/model/singer type?

Of course not. It’s probably a neighbor, or a classmate. A girl that lived near you, or was part of your social circle.

The reason is that that woman seemed attainable to you, in a way that a centerfold didn’t.

This comes down to what’s called the Auto-Rejection Mechanism. If someone believes they can’t have something, they’ll rationalize they don’t want it so that they can be happy.

This is the reason that very unattractive women get extremely rude and nasty when hit on in bars - They assume it’s insincere and they have no chance, so they become absolutely rude.

Being attainable does not mean being available - the woman shouldn’t believe that she has you no matter what, and can’t lose you no matter what she does. She should believe she has a shot to get you if you want to attract her.

***

COMPLIANCE

Ever been to a carnival? Or an amusement park or anything with those games you pay a couple dollars to play to try to win prizes?

Ever win? Or see a guy who did?

How do they feel?

They pump their fist, get excited. They get a stuffed tiger for a prize, and usually either give that tiger as a sign of affection to a girlfriend or put it on a shelf like a trophy.

This comes down to the Cost-Worth Conception. People think things are worth what they cost.

So no cost? Free? Must be worthless.

That little stuffed tiger the man got so excited about when he won? Would he even take it if it were being given away on the streets as a promotion for a sugary cereal?

Probably not.

***

The more effort a woman puts into an interaction with a guy, with pleasing or impressing him, or handling logistics so they can see each other, the more she’ll be attracted to him. Since his cost is high, his worth must be high too.

But there’s more to compliance than just work and effort.

Listen to a woman talk to her friends who is really, really attracted to her boyfriend. Does she go on, gushing about how he’s absolutely perfect and she wouldn’t change anything about him if given the change? Oh no!

Women who are very attracted to their boyfriends are often complaining about how he’s such a jerk, or doesn’t take care of her, or has bad habits or whatever else.

The reason is that accepting things she doesn’t like is compliance too. If she accepts something about him that’s not ideal in her mind, then he must be even MORE worth it in his other areas. That’s another reason Kaz was such a heartbreaker - The girls would think, “I don’t normally like Asian guys. He must be something really special.” Then he’d still see other women, have condom wrappers at his place, lipstick on wine glasses and all sorts of unsubtle things like that. And a few women would stop seeing him right then, but of the girls that stuck around - they got even more attracted.

When a woman is forced to work for something, she’ll feel like she deserves it and want it even more. To have a woman really attracted to you, she’ll need to feel like she deserves you. This comes down to attainablity, which is the feeling she can have you, and compliance, which is working to get you.

***

The Game by Neil Strauss was a New York Times Bestseller, and details Neil’s road to success with women. Under his pseudonym, “Style” as in “Man of Style”, he has many adventures. All excerpts are used directly from the book under fair use, and all rights are reserved to Neil and his publisher.

I chose The Game for this article’s teaching tool because it’s a fun read many people have with them, and because using anecdotes from someone’s life other than my own lets me stay unbiased and teach you as a social scientists. Page numbers are included so you can read along at home.

(and many of my friends who I gave an early draft of this article to said The Game read completely differently once they understood VAC)

***

Pages 312-317. Neil has completed an interview of Britney Spears, a beautiful coveted celebrity. He gets her phone number in a feat of true prowess, but is waffling on calling her. His friend “Mystery” tries to convince him to.

THE GAME PAGE 317:

>>>

“Just call her,” Mystery constantly prodded me. “What do you have to lose? Tell her, ‘Can you not look like Britney Spears? We’re going to do some crazy shit, and we can’t get caught. We’re going to wear wigs, climb up to the Hollywood sign, and touch it for good luck.”

“If I had met her socially, fine. But this is a work assignment.”

“You’re playing the game at another level now. When the article is finished, it isn’t an assignment anymore. So call her.”

But I couldn’t do it. If it had been Dalene Kurtis, the Playmate of the Year, I would have called her back in a second. I had no fear of women like that anymore. I felt worthy. I’d proven that over and over since meeting her. But Britney Spears?

One’s self-esteem can only grow so much in a year and a half.

<<<

VAC ANALYSIS:

Neil decides against calling her because he thinks she’s unattainable. The telltale lines are, “I had no fear of women like that anymore. I felt worthy.” (shows he feels Dalene Kurtis is attainable to him) And “One’s self-esteem can only grow so much in a year and a half.” (shows he doesn’t think Britney is attainable)

Now, if Britney had wanted Neil, she could have fostered a sense of attainability about herself for him. A phone call or two, or perhaps something akin to some of the techniques we use to ground herself as an average person beneath all the celebrity. And if she had done that, Neil would have became much, much attracted to her than he was.

***

Towards the end of The Game, Neil becomes very attracted - and eventually goes completely exclusive for - a woman named Lisa. What did Lisa have that the other girls didn’t? Well, she had value for his life, being beautiful, intelligent, and with a better personality than most of the girls Neil has met. And since Neil is a top-notch Pick-Up Artist, he feels all women are attainable: He’s unlikely to feel an Auto-Rejection Mechanism except on the most elite of celebrities.

But what about work? At this point in the book, Neil is used to getting huge amounts of compliance from the women in his life. He runs his game for a while and they like it. He phase-shifts and kisses them. They begin to fall ga-ga for them, and if necessary, he uses his techniques to blast LMR and bed them. When and how he pleases.

THE GAME PAGE 365

>>>

I held her eye contact and moved toward her for the kiss, holding the camera in front of us to capture it.

“I’m not kissing you,” she barked.

The words scalded my face like hot coffee. There was no girl I couldn’t kiss within a half hour of meeting her. What was her problem?

I froze her out and tried again. Nothing.

It is in these moments that, as a PUA, you start to question the work you’ve done on yourself. You begin to worry that maybe she sees the real you, the one who existed before the silly nickname, the one who wrote poems about this exact situation in high school.

I delivered a moving, impassioned performance of the evolution phase-shift routine. Somewhere in the distance, I heard a thousand PUAs applauding.

“I’m not biting you,” she said.

I wasn’t through. I told her the most beautiful love story ever written: “On Seeing the 100 Percent Perfect Girl One Beautiful April Morning” by Haruki Murakami. It is about a man and a woman who are soul mates. But when they doubt their connection for a moment and decide not to act on it, they lose each other forever.

She was ice cold.

I tried a hardcore freeze-out: I blew out the candles, turned off the music, turned on the lights, and checked my email.

She climbed into my bed, curled up under the covers, and went to sleep.

I finally I joined her, and we slept on opposite ends of the bed.

<<<

VAC ANALYSIS:

There is no doubt at this point in the book that Lisa will end up with Style if she wants him. She has value for his life, he feels she is attainable to him, but he will be made to work for it. If he “catches” her in the end, he will be astronomically more attracted to him than if she had bedded him that evening.

The old addage that a woman must make her man wait to have her for him to respect her isn’t necessarily true. But it is one of the simplest and easiest ways of making a man work to get her and become more attracted.

The only way, the absolutely only way Lisa could lose Neil at this point in the novel is for his sense of attainability to fall off. This would be a difficult proposition, but because Style is a man of some character and self-esteem, he won’t hang around forever if she makes it clear she won’t be his. The value is there. He’s worked for her. Now, if she keeps herself appearing attainable, she can have him when she likes him.

THE GAME PAGE 368:

>>>

So we [Neil and Lisa] spent another platonic night together. It was driving me crazy. I knew she liked me. But she wouldn’t get intimate. I was teetering on the border of being LJBF’ed.

Maybe I just wasn’t her type. I imagined her with tattooed, muscle-bound, leather-jacketed Danzig types, not a scrawny metrosexual guy who had to take pickup workshops. She was killing me.

For the first time since I’d learned the word one-itis, I knew that I was doomed. No one ever gets his one-itis. He gets too clingy and needy and blows it. And, sure enough, I blew it.

<<<

VAC ANALYSIS:

At this point, Neil is questing whether she’s attainable or not. And then when she blows him off later, leaving him at the airport with a limo, liquor, and a fancy date planned, his sense of her attainability is near-gone. He continues to pursue her, but details on page 372 that he leaves a message for her and she doesn’t call back.

Neil does his thing, and goes on a little tear of his own, sleeping with a bunch of different women. He thinks of Lisa from time to time, but you can even see what happens in the pacing of the book: There’s barely a mention of her for the next 24 pages as he talks about sleeping with other women and all the ProHo drama. Though no one can be sure, pick-up artists would like to think Neil didn’t spend all his time pining over Lisa in the days that passed until he ran into her again. Though this will happen occasionally with women, most of the time high self-esteem men won’t think constantly over a one-itis once the sense of attainability is gone. At the very least, they’re unlikely to take rational action unless the woman first makes a move of her own.

Which Lisa does, incidentally. If you’ve read the book, you know what happens. She shows up in her convertible, and Neil is ecstatic. She expresses interest in him on page 396 and his sense of her attainability is back.

THE GAME PAGE 410:

>>>

[Strauss:] “So what made you drive up the hill the other day to see me again?”

[Lisa:] “while you were gone, I realized how much I missed you.” I loved watching her lips part over her front teeth when she talked. It made me think of salmon on rice. “My friends were making fun of me because I was counting down the days until you came home. I actually went grocery shopping while you were gone so I could cook you food. I don’t know why.” She hesitated and smiled, as if she were offering information she’d never planned to divulge. “I bought a fresh piece of swordfish and had to throw it away because it went bad.”

A warm flush of confidence filled my chest. So I still had a chance with this girl.

<<<

VAC ANALYSIS:

Neil, again, sees Lisa as attainable and you can actually see him immediately feel attraction! She says she misses him, and then he thinks about how much he loves watching her lips part over her front teeth. He analogizes it to salmon on rice.

This is going to lead to more effective seduction on her part: She likes him, and with all the work she’s made him put in, she has a definite shot at exclusivity with a top-notch pickup artist if she wants it. Her own “game” is definitely top of the line.

The rest of pages 410 and 411 are provide even better examples. Why did Lisa act the way she did and lose attraction for Neil? She, herself, wasn’t sure about his attainability. She was thankfully sure enough to reengage him, but there was a little mixup that caused her Auto-Rejection Mechanism to set in - and tell a guy that she liked that he had no chance.

She’s not rejecting Neil, she’s rejecting HERSELF! This is what happens when the sense of attainability is removed.

THE GAME PAGE 410

>>>

“But it’s too late,” she said. “The window was open with me, and you blew it.”

David DeAngelo would have said to go cocky funny here. Ross Jeffries would have said not to buy into her frame. Mystery would have said to punish her. But I had to ask: “How did I blow it?”

“First off, you didn’t call me when you came home from Miami. I had to go to you.”

“Hold on. I thought you were blowing me off. You never even called while I was away.”

“Well, your voice mail said you were out of town and you weren’t receiving calls, so I didn’t leave a message.”

“Yeah, but I would have returned your call. I wanted to hear from you.”

“Then you came to Whiskey Bar and hardly talked. And the last straw was when we went to your house to go surfing. I told Sam I was starting to like you again and she said, ‘Get over it. When I went up to his room to use the bathroom, I found a used condom on the floor.’”

My brain leaped up and slapped itself. I had been careless: I’d forgotten to throw away the condom I’d used with Isabel. So that’s what Sam and she were whispering about in the car on the way to Malibu.

“So then why did you agree to go out with me tonight?”

“You asked me out on a proper date. And you were a little nervous, so I figured you must really be into me.”

I propped myself up on the pillows. I was about to say the most AFC thing of my life. “Let me tell you something. The pickup artists have a word they call one-itis. It’s a disease that people get when they become obsessed with just one girl. And they never end up with this girl because they get too nervous around her and scare her away.”

“So?” she asked.

“So,” I said. “You’re my one-itis.”

We were looking each other in the eyes now. I could see hers sparkle. I knew mine were sparkling. It was time to kiss her.

There were no lines, no routines, no evolution phase-shift–I’d tried them all unsuccessfully anyway. I leaned in. She leaned in. Her eyes closed. My eyes closed. Our lips met. It was just like I’d always thought a kiss was supposed to begin.

For hours, we lay there making out and dissecting the connections and misunderstandings of the past few weeks.

<<<

VAC ANALYSIS:

You can see her ARM (Auto-Rejection Mechanism) in motion. “I told Sam I was starting to like you again and she said, ‘Get over it. When I went up to his room to use the bathroom, I found a used condom on the floor.’”

“I told Sam I was starting to like you again” is a classic example of attraction rebuilding. Neil invites Lisa surfing, so Lisa thinks Neil is attainable. Attraction grows. But then Sam tells Lisa about the condom on the floor. Attainability fades. Attraction fades.

BUT, Neil Strauss is a man of exceptional character, and shows why he’s been crowned one of the best pick-up artists of this era. Though he’s not exactly sure why, he knows intuitively that David DeAngelo’s advice is based on making her work for him, which isn’t the answer. Ross and Mystery are suggesting to do things that demonstrate value through independence and choice, which also isn’t necessary for this spot.

So Neil opens up and shows Lisa he’s attainable. He goes as far as to tell her that he’s obsessed with her: And it works. The value for her life was there (Neil’s a great guy with a good career and lots of interesting stuff going on). She’s had to work for him, charming and seducing him. When he shows her that he’s attainable to her, she falls for him.

Deciding to be faithful now, Strauss sets about dumping his other girlfriends.

THE GAME PAGE 411:

>>>

“So you’re choosing her over me?” Isabel asked angrily.

“It’s not an intellectual choice.”

“Is she better in bed or something?”

“I don’t know. We’ve only kissed.”

“So you made out with some girl,” she said, with a weak attempt at a cruel laugh, “and you want to get rid of me now.”

“It’s not that I want to get rid of you. I’d still like to see you, but as a friend.” I could hear the word pierce her heart like a dagger, as it had my own heart so many times before I’d joined the community.

“But I love you.”

How could she love me? She needed to go fuck a dozen other guys to get over her one-itis.

“I’m sorry,” I said. And I was.

There is a downside to casual sex: Sometimes it stops being casual. People develop a desire for something more. And when one person’s expectations don’t match the other person’s, then whoever holds the highest expectations suffers. There is no such thing as cheap sex. It always comes with a price.

<<<

VAC ANALYSIS:

Neil, in a way, touches on value and working for someone here. Neil has more value for Isabel’s life than Isabel has for Neil’s life. And Isabel has worked harder for him than he has for her. The two combined together means she feels she deserves him and is attracted to him - so of course it hurts. Many men that read this will understand how Isabel felt.

While it’s not nearly as common for women to feel this pain as men, it does happen. She was attracted to him: Neil had value for Isabel’s life, since he was a good guy with a lot to offer. He was attainable since she’d already been bedding him and spending time with him. And she’d put in a lot of work - compliance - by doing things to please and impress him, and accepting conditions she didn’t like such as non-exclusivity.

Though I won’t ruin the specifics, I’ll let you know there is a happily-ever-after to this book, and Neil and Lisa do metaphorically ride off into the sunset together.

***

As for creating attraction in your own life, remember this formula:

Attraction = Value + Attainability + Compliance

This post by Sebastian was the precursor to the VAC Model.

A definition of attraction - and a way to consistently to get attraction from any girl - is long overdue. Perhaps the two most missunderstood parts of the community are attraction and one of the pieces of it, value.

I’ll set the record straight, and give you a gameplan for how to attract any woman in the world, as well as give specific examples of how attraction works. Since many people are familiar with it, I picked Neil Strauss’ New York Times Bestseller The Game for my examples on how attraction works - I’ll use a few excerpts from the book to explain how this all works.

Attraction is something desireable to someone, that much is obvious. But to create the kind of real, almost-tangible attraction that’ll cause a woman to sleep with you, you need two components:

The Two Components of Attraction Are Value and Deservedness.

I will explain both.

“Value” is value for her life, based on her perceptions. What is valuable is unique to every single person, but pattern of what is valuable can easily be seen. Some things are almost always seen as valuable, and some things are almost always seen as detrimental to value. But the value of any given thing to a person is different for that person than another.

What does this mean? A giant script will not appeal to every single woman. At best, a script can mass-appeal to a man’s target audience. Many sorority girls might have similar value for each other, so if you wanted that demographic, a script that’s useful on many could be devised. But for broader categories, like “college girls”, you’ll need knowledge of how value works for different people.

There are many traits that are almost universally valuable (and thus, attractive). These should be almost universally developed, so that you’re perceived as having them with minimal effort on your part. This includes confidence, charisma, leadership, intelligence, quick wit, sharp instincts, health, wealth, a strong sense of survival, purpose, adaptability, and so on. Very, very, very few women find these traits unattractive, so it’s in every man’s best interest to appear to have these.

This can be done in one of three ways.

1. Develop the trait: If you become confident, you will appear confident. If you become healthy, you will appear healthy. Et cetra.

This is the path that takes the longest to achieve out of the three, but is the easiest once you’ve achieved it.

2. Develop the appearance of the trait: “A prince need not possess princely qualities. He merely needs the appearance of princely qualities.” - Niccolo Machiavelli

Machiavelli is largely right. If you’re not confident, nor a leader, it is still in your best interest to develop the body language and walking patterns of a confident leader. This will give you the appearance of these things, the benefit of which is twofold: You’ll be perceived as having the quality (useful in your immediate interactions) and by being perceived as having it, you might actually develop the quality (”fake it ’till you make it” at work). Developing the appearance of a quality you don’t have is actually a great way to help develop that quality.

3. Demonstrate you have the quality any time the occasion arrises. This is the fastest way to show one person you have a trait about you, but the least efficient way to show the world you have a quality. A good example for this would be kino: It demonstrates you’re comfortable with yourself and comfortable around others (among other things).

If a man wants to demonstrate he’s comfortable with himself and around others, one way might be to kino. After he achieves a base proficiency in kinesthetic interaction (kino, touching other people in a normal way), he can do so consciously to appear to be comfortable with himself and around others.

Over time, his kino will become automatic. At his point he’s developed the appearance of the trait, and most people he will meet will perceive him as comfortable with himself and around others.

Finally, if he allows his belief system to develop, he’ll come to actually be comfortable with himself and around other people. At this point, no conscious technique or tactic is necessary: He has simply become a person who is comfortable with himself and around others. Because this is a universally attractive trait, he is now always a more attractive man and he knows it.

Outside of universally attractive things are things that are attractive to specific women. A gold-digger wants money and status. A 28-year old working professional may be looking for a stable husband/father type man. A 34-year old divorcee may be looking for a feeling of youth and excitement. A young girl may want maturity OR want fun and popularity. Or both.

What any given woman wants is different based on the woman. But you can make generalizations. I always ask students what type of relationships they’re looking for, and what their “type” is. Age, ethnicity, nationality, and social class are all ways that you can make an intelligent guess about what is attractive to a woman. It’s why many pick-up artists have to adjust their techniques when moving to a new location. Even in the same nation, such as the cities of Atlanta and New York City, there are some differences in what the majority of people are looking for.

That said, fine-tuning your game to your “type” is great, but a master’s proficiency in pickup will let you adjust what you’re demonstrating to the specific girl you’re with - and know exactly what to demonstrate.

Cultivating Deservedness:

Part of attraction is value. A large part. If you appear to have no value for her life, something that she’d specifically want, than it doesn’t matter how much of the second part, deservedness, you cultivate.

But it is relatively easy to appear to have value. If you have even some semblance of “a life” then you’ve got some value. If you do some basic things to improve your life (or alternatively, the appearance of having improved your life) then value won’t be your problem.

Attraction is not exclusively value. Value is a part of attraction, and necessary for it, but the second necessary component for attraction is deservedness.

Deservedness is broken into two parts: Attainability, and effort. Both require a comprehensive explanation and guidelines on how to produce these feelings in a woman.

Attainability, first, may confuse some. In all of life, people seem to strive for the unattainable. Something just a step beyond them.

But these things always seem to have some attainability to them. Think about it like this: While you may enjoy looking at a centerfold in a magazine, you are more likely to fall madly in love with the girl next door. Though a centerfold prompts a lot of physical attraction in you, you do nothing to actually GET the centerfold (well, most people…).

This comes down to an important concept called the Auto-Rejection Mechanism. In short, if someone believes they have no chance, they won’t try. It’s the reason master pick-up artists often struggle trying to pick up ugly girls: The girls have no sense of entitlement, so they don’t let themselves get attracted and get hurt.

You can see examples with people aiming for a bit more than they have, too. The people that get very attracted to wanting a yacht are people that can either afford it or come close. Rarely will you see someone that is very poor strongly desire a yacht. Since it does not have attainability in their mind, they can not be seduced by the idea.

The second part of deservedness is effort. Specifically effort the woman puts in.

This is all based on the Cost-Value Conception. In short, Cost-Value says this: You will value something that costs a lot over something that costs little, largely irrospective of their real value. If you’ve ever won a stuffed animal at an amusement park or carnival, you know what I’m talking about. While you might not even take one for free if they’re handing them out on the street as a promotion, by winning it at the carnival (putting in effort and probably more money than thing is worth) it gains a lot of value. The cost determines the value.

When a woman is forced to work for something, she will want it more. However, in the beginning, if she sees it as unattainable, she likely won’t want it. This is largely true of men, too. While a man might like and desire a beautiful woman he sees passing, or a model, he’s more likely to grow very attached to a woman he had sex with who broke up with him, or a woman who keeps saying she really likes him as a friend.

To make someone attracted to you, you simply need to have value and for them to feel deservedness. For value, you need value for their life. There are universally valuable/attractive things like confidence, charisma, health, wealth, loyalty, faith in oneself, purpose, fun, leadership, survival ability, and so on, there are also traits that are more or less valuable/attractive at different points in a woman’s life. Some of these, like wealth and fun, are universally good but are larger priorities for some women than others. Other characteristics, like danger, eccentricity, risk-taking, and so on may be very attractive to certain women, but unattractive to others. It is a sad testament that even many traits that are mostly UNattractive are attractive to certain people, such as abuse and control. These people are mentally unhealthy, and though I advise you to stay away from them, it’s worth noting that sometimes negative traits may be attractive to certain types of women at certain points in their lives.

For deservedness, make sure they feel you are attainable. This would mean not demonstrating all kinds of value to them without them knowing why: This makes you look desperate most of the time, but the worst part is that it can make many normal women feel insecure and that you’re unattainable even when you do it well! Solid screening and qualifying can increase their sense of your attainability if you know how to target your questions and responses. The “special advantage” that Vincent is always talking about making her feel like she has is another good way.

The second part of deservedness is having her put in effort. If a woman works for a man, even just a bit, she’ll be more attracted to him and want him more. Over time, you can use this to change the compliance scales between you two and make sure you keep getting compliance out of her. The result will be that she feels she’s earned you and wants to keep you. If you continue to bed a woman for long periods of time, and she isn’t helping you build your lifestyle, then you may run into problems where she isn’t putting in enough effort and doesn’t feel like she’s worked for you, and therefore deserves you. So she loses attraction.

Examples from The Game by Neil Strauss:

I choose The Game by Neil Strauss as a teaching tool for this article. It’s a cool read, and instead of using anecdotes from my own life of which I’m obviously biased, I can use a well-known good guy and objectively point out why people are or aren’t attracted to each other in the book. I’ll use some short excerpts and reference the page numbers, so y’all can read up the background at home if you have a copy.

On pages 312-317, Neil starts doing an interview of Britney Spears, a very coveted celebrity. He gets her phone number in a feat of true prowess, but is waffling on calling her.

THE GAME PAGE 317:
<<<<<<<<<<<
"Just call her," Mystery constantly prodded me. "What do you have to lose? Tell her, 'Can you not look like Britney Spears? We're going to do some crazy shit, and we can't get caught. We're going to wear wigs, climb up to the Hollywood sign, and touch it for good luck."

"If I had met her socially, fine. But this is a work assignment."

"You're playing the game at another level now. When the article is finished, it isn't an assignment anymore. So call her."

But I couldn't do it. If it had been Dalene Kurtis, the Playmate of the Year, I would have called her back in a second. I had no fear of women like that anymore. I felt worthy. I'd proven that over and over since meeting her. But Britney Spears?

One's self-esteem can only grow so much in a year and a half.
>>>>>>>>>>
MY COMMENTS:

You see Neil deciding against calling her because he thinks she’s unattainable. The telltale lines are, “I had no fear of women like that anymore. I felt worthy.” (shows he feels Dalene Kurtis is attainable to him) And “One’s self-esteem can only grow so much in a year and a half.” (shows he doesn’t think Britney is attainable)

Now, if Britney had wanted Neil, she could have fostered a sense of attainability about herself for him. A phone call or two, or perhaps something akin to some of the techniques we use to ground herself as an average person beneath all the celebrity. And if she had done that, Neil would have became much, much attracted to her than he was.

***

Towards the end of The Game, Neil becomes very attracted - and eventually goes completely exclusive for - a woman named Lisa. What did Lisa have that the other girls didn’t? Well, she had value for his life, being beautiful, intelligent, and with a better personality than most of the girls Neil has met. And since Neil is a top-notch Pick-Up Artist, he feels all women are attainable: He’s unlikely to feel an Auto-Rejection Mechanism except on the most elite of celebrities.

But what about work? At this point in the book, Neil is used to getting huge amounts of compliance from the women in his life. He runs his game for a while and they like it. He phase-shifts and kisses them. They begin to fall ga-ga for them, and if necessary, he uses his techniques to blast LMR and bed them. When and how he pleases.

THE GAME PAGE 365
<<<<<<<<<<
I held her eye contact and moved toward her for the kiss, holding the camera in front of us to capture it.

"I'm not kissing you," she barked.

The words scalded my face like hot coffee. There was no girl I couldn't kiss within a half hour of meeting her. What was her problem?

I froze her out and tried again. Nothing.

It is in these moments that, as a PUA, you start to question the work you've done on yourself. You begin to worry that maybe she sees the real you, the one who existed before the silly nickname, the one who wrote poems about this exact situation in high school.

I delivered a moving, impassioned performance of the evolution phase-shift routine. Somewhere in the distance, I heard a thousand PUAs applauding.

"I'm not biting you," she said.

I wasn't through. I told her the most beautiful love story ever written: "On Seeing the 100 Percent Perfect Girl One Beautiful April Morning" by Haruki Murakami. It is about a man and a woman who are soul mates. But when they doubt their connection for a moment and decide not to act on it, they lose each other forever.

She was ice cold.

I tried a hardcore freeze-out: I blew out the candles, turned off the music, turned on the lights, and checked my email.

She climbed into my bed, curled up under the covers, and went to sleep.

I finally I joined her, and we slept on opposite ends of the bed.
>>>>>>>>>>
MY COMMENTS:

There is no doubt at this point in the book that Lisa will end up with Style if she wants him. She has value for his life, he feels she is attainable to him, but he will be made to work for it. If he “catches” her in the end, he will be astronomically more attracted to him than if she had bedded him that evening.

The old addage that a woman must make her man wait to have her for him to respect her isn’t necessarily true. But it is one of the simplest and easiest ways of making a man work to get her and become more attracted.

The only way, the absolutely only way Lisa could lose Neil at this point in the novel is for his sense of attainability to fall off. This would be a difficult proposition, but because Style is a man of some character and self-esteem, he won’t hang around forever if she makes it clear she won’t be his. The value is there. He’s worked for her. Now, if she keeps herself appearing attainable, she can have him when she likes him.

THE GAME PAGE 368:
<<<<<<<<<<
So we [Neil and Lisa] spent another platonic night together. It was driving me crazy. I knew she liked me. But she wouldn't get intimate. I was teetering on the border of being LJBF'ed.

Maybe I just wasn't her type. I imagined her with tattooed, muscle-bound, leather-jacketed Danzig types, not a scrawny metrosexual guy who had to take pickup workshops. She was killing me.

For the first time since I'd learned the word one-itis, I knew that I was doomed. No one ever gets his one-itis. He gets too clingy and needy and blows it. And, sure enough, I blew it.
>>>>>>>>>>
MY COMMENTS:

At this point, Neil is questing whether she’s attainable or not. And then when she blows him off later, leaving him at the airport with a limo, liquor, and a fancy date planned, his sense of her attainability is near-gone. He continues to pursue her, but details on page 372 that he leaves a message for her and she doesn’t call back.

Neil does his thing, and goes on a little tear of his own, sleeping with a bunch of different women. He thinks of Lisa from time to time, but you can even see what happens in the pacing of the book: There’s barely a mention of her for the next 24 pages as he talks about sleeping with other women and all the ProHo drama. Though no one can be sure, pick-up artists would like to think Neil didn’t spend all his time pining over Lisa in the days that passed until he ran into her again. Though this will happen occasionally with women, most of the time high self-esteem men won’t think constantly over a one-itis once the sense of attainability is gone. At the very least, they’re unlikely to take rational action unless the woman first makes a move of her own.

Which Lisa does, incidentally. If you’ve read the book, you know what happens. She shows up in her convertible, and Neil is ecstatic. She expresses interest in him on page 396 and his sense of her attainability is back.

THE GAME PAGE 410:
<<<<<<<<<<
[Strauss:] "So what made you drive up the hill the other day to see me again?"

[Lisa:] "while you were gone, I realized how much I missed you." I loved watching her lips part over her front teeth when she talked. It made me think of salmon on rice. "My friends were making fun of me because I was counting down the days until you came home. I actually went grocery shopping while you were gone so I could cook you food. I don't know why." She hesitated and smiled, as if she were offering information she'd never planned to divulge. "I bought a fresh piece of swordfish and had to throw it away because it went bad."

A warm flush of confidence filled my chest. So I still had a chance with this girl.
>>>>>>>>>>
MY COMMENTS:
Neil, again, sees Lisa as attainable and you can actually see him immediately feel attraction! She says she misses him, and then he thinks about how much he loves watching her lips part over her front teeth. He analogizes it to salmon on rice.

This is going to lead to more effective seduction on her part: She likes him, and with all the work she’s made him put in, she has a definite shot at exclusivity with a top-notch pickup artist if she wants it. Her own “game” is definitely top of the line.

The rest of pages 410 and 411 are provide even better examples. Why did Lisa act the way she did and lose attraction for Neil? She, herself, wasn’t sure about his attainability. She was thankfully sure enough to reengage him, but there was a little mixup that caused her Auto-Rejection Mechanism to set in - and tell a guy that she liked that he had no chance.

She’s not rejecting Neil, she’s rejecting HERSELF! This is what happens when the sense of attainability is removed.

THE GAME PAGE 410
<<<<<<<<<<
"But it's too late," she said. "The window was open with me, and you blew it."

David DeAngelo would have said to go cocky funny here. Ross Jeffries would have said not to buy into her frame. Mystery would have said to punish her. But I had to ask: "How did I blow it?"

"First off, you didn't call me when you came home from Miami. I had to go to you."

"Hold on. I thought you were blowing me off. You never even called while I was away."

"Well, your voice mail said you were out of town and you weren't receiving calls, so I didn't leave a message."

"Yeah, but I would have returned your call. I wanted to hear from you."

"Then you came to Whiskey Bar and hardly talked. And the last straw was when we went to your house to go surfing. I told Sam I was starting to like you again and she said, 'Get over it. When I went up to his room to use the bathroom, I found a used condom on the floor.'"

My brain leaped up and slapped itself. I had been careless: I'd forgotten to throw away the condom I'd used with Isabel. So that's what Sam and she were whispering about in the car on the way to Malibu.

"So then why did you agree to go out with me tonight?"

"You asked me out on a proper date. And you were a little nervous, so I figured you must really be into me."

I propped myself up on the pillows. I was about to say the most AFC thing of my life. "Let me tell you something. The pickup artists have a word they call one-itis. It's a disease that people get when they become obsessed with just one girl. And they never end up with this girl because they get too nervous around her and scare her away."

"So?" she asked.

"So," I said. "You're my one-itis."

We were looking each other in the eyes now. I could see hers sparkle. I knew mine were sparkling. It was time to kiss her.

There were no lines, no routines, no evolution phase-shift--I'd tried them all unsuccessfully anyway. I leaned in. She leaned in. Her eyes closed. My eyes closed. Our lips met. It was just like I'd always thought a kiss was supposed to begin.

For hours, we lay there making out and dissecting the connections and misunderstandings of the past few weeks.
>>>>>>>>>>
MY COMMENTS:

You can see her ARM (Auto-Rejection Mechanism) in motion. “I told Sam I was starting to like you again and she said, ‘Get over it. When I went up to his room to use the bathroom, I found a used condom on the floor.’”

“I told Sam I was starting to like you again” is a classic example of attraction rebuilding. Neil invites Lisa surfing, so Lisa thinks Neil is attainable. Attraction grows. But then Sam tells Lisa about the condom on the floor. Attainability fades. Attraction fades.

BUT, Neil Strauss is a man of exceptional character, and shows why he’s been crowned one of the best pick-up artists of this era. Though he’s not exactly sure why, he knows intuitively that David DeAngelo’s advice is based on making her work for him, which isn’t the answer. Ross and Mystery are suggesting to do things that demonstrate traits of independence and choice, which also isn’t necessary.

So Neil opens up and shows Lisa he’s attainable. He goes as far as to tell her that he’s obsessed with her: And it works. The value for her life was there (Neil’s a great guy with a good career and lots of interesting stuff going on). She’s had to work for him, charming and seducing him. When he shows her that he’s attainable to her, she falls for him.

Deciding to be faithful now, Strauss sets about dumping his other girlfriends.

THE GAME PAGE 411:
<<<<<<<<<<
"So you're choosing her over me?" Isabel asked angrily.

"It's not an intellectual choice."

"Is she better in bed or something?"

"I don't know. We've only kissed."

"So you made out with some girl," she said, with a weak attempt at a cruel laugh, "and you want to get rid of me now."

"It's not that I want to get rid of you. I'd still like to see you, but as a friend." I could hear the word pierce her heart like a dagger, as it had my own heart so many times before I'd joined the community.

"But I love you."

How could she love me? She needed to go fuck a dozen other guys to get over her one-itis.

"I'm sorry," I said. And I was.

There is a downside to casual sex: Sometimes it stops being casual. People develop a desire for something more. And when one person's expectations don't match the other person's, then whoever holds the highest expectations suffers. There is no such thing as cheap sex. It always comes with a price.
>>>>>>>>>>
MY COMMENTS:

Neil, in a way, touches on value and working for someone here. Neil has more value for Isabel’s life than Isabel has for Neil’s life. And Isabel has worked harder for him (been more compliant for lower rewards, as per Vincent DiCarlo’s Value/Compliance model) than he has for her. The two combined together means she feels she deserves him and is attracted to him - so of course it hurts. Many men that read this will understand how Isabel felt.

While it’s not nearly as common for women to feel this pain as men, it does happen. She was attracted to him: Neil had value for Isabel’s life, and she felt she deserved him (he was attainable because she had already been bedding him, she worked to get him by accepting terms she didn’t like such as non-exclusivity).

Or I could be completely, totally off-base with my comments, and other stuff was going on.

Though I won’t ruin the specifics, I’ll let you know there is a happily-ever-after to this book, and Neil and Lisa do metaphorically ride off into the sunset together.

As for creating attraction in your own life, remember this formula:

Attraction = Value + Deservedness

Value is the value for her life. Cultivate the appearance of all universally attractive traits, and selectively demonstrate specific traits to specific women.

Deservedness is comprised of two elements. The first is attainability: If a woman thinks you are unattainable, her Auto-Rejection Mechanism will kick in. She’ll blow you off so she doesn’t feel hurt, and then backwards-rationalize it, halting attraction from growing and sometimes killing it all off. So you must let feel that you are potentially attainable. Conscious tactics for this include screening, qualifying, and making her feel like she has a special advantage. It can also be accomplished with looks and certain body language and tonality.

The second part of deservedness is the woman working to earn you, the cost/value conception. When someone works hard for something, they feel like it should be belong to them and it’s to be prized. She’ll feel like she deserves to be with you and she’ll be attracted to you because of it.

Use these teachings wisely, friend. I documented some examples and you can see how negative emotions ran through some good people because of some missteps in attracting each other. These techniques can be a bit powerful and can mess with a woman’s head, so do make sure to, as Neil puts it, not violate Ross Jeffries’ only ethical rule of seduction: Leave her better than you found her.

Current trends in seduction favor a more genuine and natural framework driven by confidence and a strong assumption of attraction. It seems the highly canned routine-based game initially designed for ego preservation is giving way to a more integrated and free-flowing approach. This warrants an in-depth codification of the process of transitioning to a natural game that is both highly effective in-field and consistently teachable.

My recent work has been not only to identify those concepts which drive Natural Game, designing applicable mindsets and techniques, but to also develop a systematic method for students, no matter what their background, to make the transition to Natural Game. Despite my use of the term ‘Natural Game’ it is a mistake to assume that it’s sufficient to ‘just be cool’, ‘act normal’ or ‘be yourself’. Given the highly ambitious scope of becoming a full-blown Pick up Artist, a systematic approach is, in most cases, NECCESSARY to ensure optimum development of the correct behaviors and beliefs.

This article aims to deal with three high level and large-frame concepts which serve as a foundation for a highly practical and field-tested method which preserves the inherent attractiveness and integrity of the student. All great pickup artists have internalized these concepts to the point of automaticity, whether they know it or not. Misattributing the source of their power, a number of good pick-up artists spend too much valuable time emphasizing axillary skills such as storytelling, humor and random gimmickry. While these skills may serve as useful tools for specific situations, they are of limited application and not entirely relevant to the matter at hand.

I believe it is highly beneficial to cut straight to the true essence of success, leaving yourself the option of developing into a great storyteller or comedian later on, if that is your inclination. In that case, development of Natural Game concepts will constitute a robust foundation invaluable for whatever style suits your personal taste. Our primary role as pickup artists is the successful connection with and seduction of women. That will be the focus of this article.

The three base concepts for discussion are:

1. Spontaneity Over Structure
2. Mutual Value Escalation
3. Congruence to Intention

If you haven’t read The Transition to Natural Game part I, authored by myself, you may want to do that first. I might also add that the newly revised Razorjack Method is 100% compatible with this text.

Spontaneity over Structure

Spontaneity is the characteristic of creating an experience with optimum emotional capacity to the exact situation at hand. (Or very appropriately termed your ‘Pimp Brain’ by PlayerSupreme)

It is that time when you were totally *ON* - joking with the girl, laughing with her, sharing, you had so much you could talk about, so much you wanted to share. You told her stories, and made jokes about things in the environment, teased her, related to her… If you’ve never experienced this, well… keep reading!

Spontaneity is not what you have never said or done before, but a new combination of the thousands of things you have already experienced. We all have a realm of experiences from which to draw via an associative process. Rather than rehearsing memorized content, you are re-experiencing images from memory and recounting the experiences into the here and now with a fresh touch to it. Your amplification or elimination of certain details allows you to custom tailor your presentation and ultimately the entire shared experience to her personality type.

Spontaneity is a state where all of the relevant neural pathways are active such that you have instant access to associated memories. You are extroverted and aware of your environment. You are completely unattached to outcomes, and completely IN the moment. Not focused on the process, you ARE the process. Your experience is that very moment, not stuck in the two minutes ago, but in the PRESENT.

It is that freshness. That presence. Are you THERE in the moment with the girl? Are you seeing her for who she really is? Are you more present in the moment than her husband? Then she is yours.

You are crafting an emotional experience based on the instantaneous moment in which you and the girl reside. Spontaneity can be developed to such a degree that your improvised conversation is more fresh, genuine and attractive than anything you could have prepared prior. This is because it is born out of the moment, and is highly relevant. The freshness and energy which spawns from spontaneity is a powerful and complete value demonstration in itself.

Can you discard your routines and structure at the drop of a hat, when an opportunity to live in the moment presents itself?

Or do you sacrifice the opportunity because of attachment to a predetermined script?

Spontaneity is of utmost importance. More than anything, women will feel great rapport with you based on your degree of spontaneity. Women spend all of their lives searching for that guy who can VIBE. The guy who’s energy matches her’s - when they are together the interaction just HITS! Women always ask themselves things like “How do I feel around him?”, “How natural does it feel?”. When you create a spontaneous interaction with a girl, she will be absolutely convinced that you are her soulmate. If you can connect in that manner, she will forget all other objections about you, and be completely in love. This is paramount in making those super-fast lays happen.

Anything that feels forced, rehearsed or planned KILLS the interaction. Even guys that have great routines or are great storytellers possess spontaneity. There still needs to be a good interaction flow between the stories… AND for when the stories run out! Resist getting stuck trying to correct mistakes made beforehand, stay in the moment - the river keeps on flowing! Persistence and spontaneous creation of context in part comes from having strong beliefs, but you can train yourself to develop those beliefs by maintaining a continuous flow of action.

I recently heard a really good quote from Harmless. He said “The guys that are great - they can take nothing… and turn it into something.” What is he talking about? Spontaneous creation of experience based on circumstance. Nothing else. Taking what little is available and creating CONTEXT for interaction.

Another benefit to spontaneity is the byproduct development of situational relevance. Strongly correlated to social intelligence, situational relevance is an intuition that determines when certain routines are appropriate in a given context. Some guys run routines that are completely irrelevant to the situation at hand. They never took the time to develop their spontaneity and now have zero sense of whether their routines are appropriate or not. Even the coolest, most bad-ass routine will fall flat if delivered in an inappropriate situation, or prematurely.

Training your mind for spontaneity is the process of conditioning your mind to develop instantaneous association recall. Development of any skill is proceeded by a strong stimulus to the neurology which facilitates that said skill. It is analogous to weightlifting - you lift weights which provides your muscles a powerful stimulus, and they respond by becoming stronger and more developed.

From a strictly mental viewpoint, it is very much like learning a language. A friend of mine took four years of Spanish in high school and a few years later could speak nothing of the language. She then took a two week vacation with her boyfriend in Puerto Rico, and came back speaking near fluent Spanish. Putting yourself in a situation over and over with little preparation gives the strongest stimulus to that part of your brain which you aim to develop.

Overpreparation in the form of learning too many pickup lines or routines will circumvent that process. It’s like using crutches for your whole life with the expectation of developing strong legs. It just won’t happen. For this reason, I am a huge proponent of minimizing the number of routines you take with you into the field.

Developing spontaneity in a nutshell:

1. Go into the field unprepared
2. Approach a woman with a specific intention (We’ll learn this in section 3)
3. Persist as long as possible congruent to your chosen intention
4. 4. Repeat the process for a balanced variety of situations

Little preparation, strong sexual intent, lots of persistence… Sounds like Gunwitch Method to me! This may explain the great success of everyone who applies GWM. It is an excellent foundation and perfect for building that very important trait we call SPONTANEITY.

We are training WARRIORS of pickup. We produce guys who can trust their instincts in any situation and WIN. Their subconscious is trained to make superb decisions in microseconds. They recall highly relevant stories to tell their women, they crack just the right joke at the right time, and they know exactly which emotions need to be projected to capture her SOUL.

Mutual Value Escalation

Mutual value escalation has been the driving force behind most of the successful techniques and methods developed in history and recent years. It is also the concept which drives most symbiotic relationships between living things. A mutual value escalation is is an interaction which results in an financial / emotional / intellectual exchange in which both parties benefit. A coach makes his players sharper, faster, and able to think more quickly on their feet and in turn they go on to win games and championships for him. Their combined value as a team is much greater than the sum of their value as individuals.

Certain people are more inclined to escalating value than others. As pick up artists, it is of utmost importance. It can be said that there are three types of people in this world: Givers, takers and leaders.

‘Givers’ give everything away up front, with a hidden expectation of return. If they do not get that return, they harbor expressed or unexpressed anger and hostility. The classic example of this is the ‘nice guy’ who supplicates over and over expecting to get sex in return, and then when he gets dumped, blames the girl and calls her a bitch. MVE is NOT supplication. It is the preservation and enhancement of overall or long term collective emotions of a group of people. When a ‘giver’ gives something (with expectation of return) then you will then be holding the ‘expectation’ emotion, and the girl will now be carrying a ‘obligated / accountable’ emotion. Neediness also causes these types of emotions. That is mutual value degradation.

‘Takers’, realizing that ‘givers’ get nowhere in our society, take as much as they can from people because of their own insecurity about their abilities to attain what they desire. They also will harbor anger and hostility if they do not get what they attempt to take. A good example is a guy (who some may consider ‘alpha’) who tries to extract sex or financial resources from a woman but adds absolutely no value to her life. These guys will be successful to a certain extent with low self esteem women, but eventually smart women will grow tired of this and conjure up enough strength to break free from such an unhealthy and destructive relationship. The relationship ends with both parties worse off than when they started, both with a distorted perception of the opposite sex.

Both ‘givers’ and ‘takers’ come from a similar place. They are both attached to an outcome and attempt to use negative emotions in order to reach that outcome. The hostility and anger originates from the fear of an imagined consequence resulting from failure to ‘take’ or ‘receive’.

What most people fail to notice, however is that there is another option: The Leader. A leader will increase the value of himself all the while increasing the value of the people he interacts with. He makes intelligent decisions, takes responsibility for his actions and creates positive emotions in his group. Since the majority of people in this world fall into the ‘giver’/’taker’ category, it is the leaders who, through their strength and direction, can rise above and make things go right. It is commonly thought that there can only be one leader in any interaction. That is not true. It may be true that only one person can leading at any one particular time, but two leaders can interact in a very effective and mutually beneficial manner.

I really think people have a huge misconception about indirect methods. They seem to believe we are somehow ‘hurting’ the girl or making her feel bad about herself in some way. When done correctly, this cannot be further from the truth. Great C+F is giving her the gift of humor. Well constructed negs demonstrate awareness and social subtlety, valuable to any woman striving to be more beautiful. Well timed takeaways teach women to respect us, and in the end they appreciate the lesson.

If your methods do not add value to the interaction, then you are coming from the wrong place. Escalate mutual value, always.

Most healthy men and women have a tendency toward survival and the attainment of positive emotions. People naturally want to be around others who can add value to their lives and make them feel good. It is completely natural and built into us by evolution. Natural leaders take care of themselves, they involve themselves in actions to improve their lives, and the lives of the people around them. It just plain feels GREAT to be around people who possess this quality. They are charismatic, comfortable and inspire everyone involved to more positive and pleasurable emotions.

Mutual Value Escalation is THE way into the secret society. By your actions, you demonstrate that a woman’s involvement in your life would only be a benefit to her, no matter what your intention is. You leave absolutely no room for implications of negative repercussions. Since leaders have no attachment and make no implied demands, women will very quickly realize the potential of a no-strings-attached sexual relationship as well as a fulfilling and rewarding long term relationship.

We are not the guys who impose on their freedom by dropping hints of emotional dependence. We do not supplicate to a woman and shower her with insincere compliments. We are also not the guys who, in a selfish pursuit of our own hedonism, sabotage her emotions with lies, deceit and invalidation. We do not drain the life energy from social interactions by demoralizing the team players on which we depend to enhance our lives.

We strive to improve our women’s lives by helping them to become stronger, more independent, guiding her to self-discovery and excellence.

And for that, they will reward us with everything they’ve got!

Enhance her experience whether it is day game or night game, ‘indirect’ or ‘direct’ game. A lot of stock routines are created with value built in, so in a sense most of us are creating value escalation artificially. Be aware of the large frame of what we are doing and pay attention to the emotional implications of your technique. We are enhancing the shared experience of which we take part. MVE can be cultivated internally without routines, if you are aware of it while developing spontaneity. If you prefer to use straight spontaneity, only calling on stories when you are reminded of them, your intention will guide your language. Combine genuine expression with leadership frames so that you both benefit.

Learn to reframe everything into the more positive, optimistic, humorous - But this doesn’t mean kiss her ass by any stretch. Be realistic and judge her shortcomings fairly. Be aware of her shortcomings, (don’t lie and tell her the opposite is true) but make her feel better about them. This is the base structure of good c+f or a great neg.

The real power behind most great techniques is AWARENESS. Do you have the awareness to notice the subtle flaws and insecurities in a gorgeous woman, or are you perceiving her as perfect in every way, and merely picking out some random feature to criticize? In this game, cleverness is no substitute for true awareness.

EXAMPLE:

* Be aware and notice her shortcoming: She’s a bit short for your tastes
* Be honest with yourself about it, don’t lie to her: Don’t tell her she’s the perfect height if you don’t believe it
* Reframe it to positive in an attempt to make her feel better about it:

Low degree of subtlety (C+F style): Tell her it must be nice to be able to get the child’s admission price into theme parks.

High degree of subtlety (Neg style): Tell her you think she might look really great in high heels.

The success of an approach is especially dependent on MVE. It is important to start with a leader vibe from the very beginning and presented as an opportunity for the two of you make a great connection.

Taker’s approach: Either forced, too cocky, or too presumptuous. These guys may attempt to make women feel guilty for not talking to them.

Giver’s approach: Weak, and full of compliments. These guys will just tell her she’s beautiful with hopes of her continuing the interaction. They expect that the simple act of giving a compliment will inspire her to chase them.

Great approaches, no matter what the technique have a vibe that says “This is an opportunity for you to have a valuable interaction.”

The direct approach presents a unique challenge since it is very common for the inexperienced practitioner to vibe ‘giver’ when using a compliment-type opener. He must rely on projecting value through his vibe, as opposed to having it built into the opener as is more common with opinion opener / story type openers.

One of most challenging approaches from a logistical standpoint is opening a woman who is walking away from you. It requires a high level of physical awareness and playfulness. Any ‘taker’ vibe must be IMMEDIATELY diffused by increasing your distance, or by using humor. If you can do this well, pat yourself on the back. It requires a very subtle balance of different vibes, and opening with correct bodylanguage and timing.

Congruence To Intention

An intention is your underlying purpose and role in a woman’s life. An intention can take many forms. You can be anything from the guy who helps her with her math homework to the knight in shining armor who sweeps her off of her feet and changes her life forever. There are many different intentions, and it is the pick up artist’s job to:

1. Familiarize yourself with the most common and effective intentions
2. Decide which intention is most relevant to a given situation
3. Congruently execute your chosen intention via a continuous flow of action

The two most common intentions are ‘direct’ and ‘indirect’. A direct intention is one in which you express genuine interest in a girl from a place of higher value. You would then continue to reassure her of this all along the way, and treat her as if she is very special and unique. An indirect intention is one in which your interaction with a girl is purely social: Your interest lies mainly in something besides her. Maybe you are talking to her just to get an opinion, or maybe you are bored - or maybe you love the sound of your own voice!

Keep in mind the two are not mutually exclusive. When it comes down to it, everyone uses both of them, as it is completely natural to use both of them. In fact, a great pick up artist should be familiar with each and be able to use them both with equal competence. To limit oneself to a single intention, is much like an actor who limits himself to playing only one type of character throughout his entire career. The skill of a great actor is not choosing a single great role, but his ability to climb deep into any given role - the ability to become congruent to an intention.

Here’s an example: Entering a club, you may see a group of girls, not exactly your type, but still somewhat attractive. You may chat with them in a social way, while waiting for your friends. Later on in the night, you may catch a glimpse of a beautiful, stunning woman - and you express your interest to her. You have created attraction using two different intentions. ‘Direct’ guys use an ‘indirect’ intention all the time with girls they have no romantic interest in - and it may result in those girls chasing them. On the flipside, great ‘indirect’ practitioners shift to a direct intention the moment they qualify the girl - and they may spend the rest of the sarge using the direct intention!

If you look at a ‘natural’ who does really well on a nighttime scene like a bar or club: How does he behave? Generally he will have a great time, enjoy the moment for what it is worth and spread his positive vibe to others around him. Women will gravitate toward these guys, and find them very attractive in this environment. Does this mean that ‘party’ guys are universally more attractive? Of course not. But people who go out to bars and clubs are going out to party for the evening, and the behavior of a party guy is highly congruent to that context. The natural is familiar with the environment and the types of interactions that go on during the course of the night. His behaviors are therefore congruent to both his intention and the shared intention of the groups he interacts with. If a natural gets up and walks away from a girl who isn’t cooperating, it is because his intention is to have a good time, and not chase any one particular girl.

When one speaks of a ‘natural’, we talk about those guys who were born with those traits desirable to women. What exactly is the base characteristic that makes them so attractive? Is it their high energy? Is it their relaxed bodylanguage? Is it their boldness and honesty?

No.

It is their congruence to intention. Unlike a pick-up artist who has consciously designed his game from the ground up, a true ‘natural’ has little ability to make conscious choice of his intention. But the intention that he DOES have - he is DAMN congruent to it.

Development of Natural Game is the development of the fundamentals that empower you to choose your intention based on the situation at hand, and remain congruent to that chosen intention. Remaining congruent to an intention means to continually interact with a girl in a way that reinforces your original intent, or serves to further define it.

Congruence is the antithesis of coming across fake or ingenuine. In this game, to be labeled fake or ingenuine is the kiss of death! As men, we are expected to be strong decision makers, unwavering and ready to take action. Women are drawn to men who already know their place not only in the world but more importantly in her life. Make all of your subsequent actions congruent to your original intention.

Congruence has the ability to create massive amounts of attraction in a woman - much more than any given part of the interaction. Women are not as imperceptive as we once thought them to be! Subsequent interaction increases attraction and rapport simultaneously to the extent that it is congruent with all previous interaction, and serves to further define your intention. Through congruency, you will amplify your value exponentially with each consecutive action you take. Therefore, a complete method of seduction is only effective to the extent that it is congruent within itself.

To a woman, the fact that congruence creates attraction is very obvious. A woman would simply call it “being a real man”. Women don’t want to waste their time with men who cannot make decisions, do not understand themselves or do not understand how to relate to her. Lack of congruence leads to confusion, and people deal with an excess of confusion by becoming indifferent to it, or by escaping from it. The former will put you into the friends zone, and the latter will cause you to be blown out or cause a woman to flake on you.
It is not any particular intention which makes you attractive. It is your congruence to it. Again IT IS NOT any particular method which is superior to others. It is your belief, conviction and loyalty to THAT METHOD. If you master the art of maintaining congruence to intention, a whole new world of freedom and opportunity will open up to you, as you will now be able to make ANY method or technique work.

A useful tool for familiarizing yourself with a particular intention is called Intention Mapping. It is also useful if you wish to create your own intention or ‘method’ of seduction. What most successful methods actually do is teach you to be very congruent to a single intention, through learning behaviors and techniques. Start by developing an idea of what kind of role you would like to play in a woman’s life. Would you like to be lover who changes her life forever, a guy with whom she has casual sex with a few times a month, or perhaps the guy she encounters for a single night of lust and passion?

Intention maps are most effective when they match what a girl is ready for in this particular time in her life. In other words, your intention should be included in her realm of what is possible. While all women are different in the way they view the world, themselves and what is possible romantically, as a general rule you may find:

* She’s single -> Primarily open to romance and genuine interest from a guy
* She’s with a boyfriend or husband for security, or just out of a relationship -> Primarily open to sexual variety, which may lead to romance later on
* She’s in an emotionally and sexually fulfilling relationship -> Toughest case, but generally open sexual variety or romance from a guy who exhibits MVE

After you determine the role you would like to play in a woman’s life, the next step is to fill in parts of the interaction with behaviors that are all congruent to the initial intention, and serve to further define it.

There are basically two main intentions. Direct and Indirect. Here are some guidelines for these.

Notes about the direct intention:

When opening, many guys have a fear about expressing their interest in girl before knowing that she is attracted first. They believe that they shouldn’t let a girl know they like her, unless she has first indicated her interest. Ironically, it is that very belief which causes the lack of attraction. The reasoning of “Don’t show your intention because if you show your intention she can reject you.” can hurt you in some instances. The very act of demonstrating your true intention is what generates the attraction which prevents her from rejecting you in the first place!

When with a wingman, rolling off for a lonewolf, (unless you have a good explanation for why you rolled off of your friend) you MUST get a quick number. In most cases a faster number will be more solid because it’s congruent to you hanging out with your friend! If you stay around and wait to ‘build rapport’, it will be incongruent with you being out with your friend, and it will also demonstrate negative things about your character.

This is in contrast to you hunting alone (and not appearing to be in a hurry to a meeting, class etc…) getting a quick number is incongruent with the direct intention. If you are alone, and you meet a woman, push it as far as the limitations of logistics will allow before getting her number.

The direct intention is mostly projected through bodylanguage, vibe and tonality. In other words, teasing her in a warm and reassuring way will NOT break your intention. It should be done in a way that is still congruent to your original intent of being genuinely interested in her. In fact, joking with her should serve to demonstrate your comfort together, NOT to invalidate her.

The direct intention is mostly projected through bodylanguage, vibe and tonality. In other words, teasing her in a warm and reassuring way will NOT break your intention. It should be done in a way that is still congruent to your original intent of being genuinely interested in her. In fact, joking with her should serve to demonstrate your comfort together, NOT to invalidate her.

If you chat with a girl in a very direct manner, and show her you will not just leave her to chat up some other chick - that you are with her and HER ALONE… If you show her that you are honest about your intentions to her, and that you genuinely think she’s special, you will have created a huge advantage over other players in the club, with that particular girl. There is strength in confidence. Your confidence in her will translate into her confidence in YOU. Often times, a strong direct intention will bypass a lot of complications such as AMOGs, obstacles and apparent logistical limitations.

I’m not talking about forwards and backwards merging (entering other sets as a couple) this stuff is fine since the frame puts the two of you ‘together’ talking to ’strangers’. This is congruent with a direct intention.

In my opinion, a successful pick up artist MUST become familiar and adept at projecting the direct intention. It is THE thing which separates pick-up artists from other players in the club.

Notes about the indirect intention:

Indirect intention is good for bypassing certain societal roadblocks. It is especially useful when a group of girls is already convinced you have lower value then they do, when your target girl knows you already have a girlfriend or two, or when you wish to attract a girl who you work with or go to school with.

Next time you are about to use a routine to elevate your value or generate attraction, do not consider its standalone value. Instead, consider the congruence that routine has to your original intention. Does it reinforce your intention, increasing attraction and rapport, or does it deviate from your intention, decreasing attraction and rapport? Does each subsequent routine further define your intention, or does it serve to confuse a girl?

With an indirect intention, a girl will have a lot of reservations about sex and generally exhibit a bit of last minute resistance. Backturns and takeaways are the most congruent way to handle this type of thing. If you start reassuring her in a direct way, she will not believe it, and you will come across weak. Using a more direct game without a lot of social proof, having generated attraction based on confidence and body language alone, it is not so important to take additional actions to convince her she is legitamitely special. You have already done so, and the fact that you are not chatting up three other women in the club reinforces that.

If you would like to convert the relationship from casual one to a more romantic one, continue to have sex with her regularly (1-2 times per week at the least). The repeated sex will result in emotional attachment.

Intention Shifting

While staying congruent to these specific intentions, there is also some degree of flexibility. While is is best to avoid shifting intentions back and forth throughout the interaction, there are two common points where intention can be shifted without major repercussion. I would recommend learning how to handle both intentions very thoroughly before incorporating a shift into your game. The two points that serve as viable shifting points are Qualification and Conversion. Qualification is when you give her a statement of interest. Conversion is after you have had sex with her a few times such that she doesn’t write it off as a one night stand. (Usually between 2-4 times)

If you start indirect, you can shift to direct when you qualify the girl. Stay direct until you successfuly convert the girl. Starting out with a very social game with heavy social proof, it becomes very important to convince the girl you like her for a valid reason. That is why you must screen her and qualify her based on that.

If your interaction starts off direct, you can switch to indirect after you have successfuly converted her. Direct interactions have less of a tolerance for breaking congruency than indirect ones, so is wise to make sure the conversion is thorough. She must become physically attached to you, through repeated sex.

Every successful pick up artist I have ever met has these concepts internalized. They may not be aware of it, but they’ve got them. Understand that these three concepts aren’t the end all be all of developing Natural Game, but they are a great place to start!

I’ve met my share of brothers from the community. After sarging with them and
watching them in the field, I have seen the same exact things over and over.
They all run nearly the exact type of game, and have the same problems. I am
not criticizing other people’s models, I am just providing a analysis of the
EFFECT that these models are having on the bulk of the people I meet. I would
estimate about 90% of random community guys I’ve met fall into this category.
Again I emphasize that it is not an inherent flaw in the traditional ASF
models, but more how people are interpreting these models, along with other
factors related to societal conditioning.

This post will serve to help transition those people who are interested from a
“nerd-like” entertainment frame to a smooth natural approach which is
inherently more seductive and effective particularly in endgame.

I have not posted anything advanced in a short while, so this post is the
culmination of the past few months of my work. Enjoy!

Contents:

1. The two fundamental elements of a pickup.
2. The difference between techniques, mindsets and beliefs.
3. A paradigm shift for ASF models. A full analysis of pop-ASF game vs. natural
game.
4. Design the frame for endgame
5. The Continuous Flow of Action.

Related Posts:
-Confident Rapport by Seth Parker
-Rooting: Problem with the who lies more opener by Style
-Insights - Thinking beyond the medium by Razorjack
-Rewriting the Rules for ASF by Imperfect

1. The Two Fundamental Elements Required for Conscious and Deliberate Pickup.

Any active pickup where the man decides who he wants, approaches her and
consciously moves the interaction to sex requires only two things.

They are:

-Strong and unwavering belief that the girl wants him.
-An interactive context which can lead to isolation.

The great part about this is that any context will work. This represents the
differences between all of the methods you see here on ASF: Be it Gunwitch with
his strong rapport assumption and ordinary conversation, or be it Mystery’s
routines which fit into a precise and linear system. They are both just
interactive contexts which can lead to isolation. The true firepower, however
is the set of beliefs driving the context.

The reason why there is so much focus on context, is because it is something
that can be learned quickly. It’s very easy to learn a few jokes and tell a
few stories and memorize a few openers. Internalizing good beliefs on the
other hand, usually takes months or even years. So you will see some guys on
here telling us to ignore the belief / inner game stuff and just develop a
strong context. While it may be beneficial to develop a really strong context,
we must take care that our execution of techniques isn’t inhibiting the growth
of good beliefs or installing limiting ones.

The fastest route to mastery is to continue developing strong beliefs and at
the same time become familiar with a variety of contexts — get a lot of
experience under your belt. Adopt a really great inner game program, and then
go into the field and work your techniques. Learn to handle as many tough
situations as possible - large sets, daytime isolation, amogs, direct
approaches, etc. Realize it can take quite some time before your beliefs make
a significant enough change such that you achieve the kind of success you’re
really after.

2. Techniques, Mindsets, Beliefs and how they are related.

On the most superficial level, we have techniques. A technique is something
that you say or do while interacting with a woman. We all have a great deal of
conscious control over which techniques we use. On the flipside, techniques
are the least effective part of who you are and quite useless without the
deeper levels mindsets and beliefs.

At the very deepest level, we have our beliefs. Beliefs determine your
reality, and are shaped by your identity. Unlike techniques, we have very
little conscious control over our beliefs. They are so far below the surface
of our awareness that it is nearly impossible to change them at will. There
are probably zen monks who can consciously affect their beliefs on command, but
then again, those guys aren’t trying to learn to pick up women on an internet
chat board — to the best of my knowledge, anyway.

Now what most people ignore, are the mindsets behind the techniques. This is
the frame through which we deliver our techniques. A mindset determines the
internal dialogue that you experience throughout the pickup. A mindset can be
applied to a group of techniques, and a group of mindsets is what makes up a
belief. Razorjack’s thread “Insights - Thinking beyond the medium” provides a
great explanation of mindsets. What he refers to as thinking beyond the medium
is just assigning a mindset to each group of your techniques. It simplifies
your pickup by redirecting your focus of attention. Instead of remembering 20
different technical details, you just have one mental focus - a specific
mindset.

Mindsets are easier to change than beliefs, but not as easy to learn as
techniques. Exerting conscious control over your mindsets is the most
effective way to affect your inner game, since they are in direct contact with
your belief system.

Example of a mindset:

Take the c+f line “Whoah, pointy shoes! They’re nice, but I feel sorry for the
little elf you stole them from, who’s now running around barefoot.”

You can deliver the line with the mindset “She’s hot so I have to show her I’m
indifferent / not impressed by her, so she thinks I’m better than her.” -or-
you can deliver the line with the mindset “I care about this woman, I’m
enjoying the interaction, and I am joking with her to make her laugh and feel
good.”

Obviously the latter is more effective, as the former will come off insecure.
Despite the fact that you are saying the same words, because you are using two
different states of mind, you’ll get two dramatically different results. Not
only will your results be worse, but carrying the former mindset around will
only do harm to your belief system. It presupposes LOWER VALUE and lack of
attraction. No good.

The end goal is to change your beliefs, since they will ultimately have the
greatest effect on your game. Simple repetition of techniques without the
proper mindsets or with incorrect mindsets will do damage to your belief
system. You need to adopt great mindsets to insure proper development of a
belief system.

3. ASF Paradigm Shift.

The traditional model in use by the majority of ASFers I’ve met is the
following:

-Assume that girls must be “hooked” in order to be interested in you.
(Sometimes true to varying degrees)
-Approach with prepared opinion opener designed to engage girls, meanwhile
feigning disinterest.
-Assume since you’re approaching her, she’s automatically more valuable, so…
-Go right into story to in order to display higher value, which will generate
the attraction which was previously not present.
-Continue to tell stories, tease girls until you get clear indication of
interest.
-Phase shift into “rapport / comfort” which consists of ordinary conversation,
dropping the personality she was interested in initially.
-Bait her into qualifying herself to you, and no matter what she says, SOI her
for that. (This step ain’t so bad)
-Isolate and escalate. (This one isn’t either

Six Common Sticking Points in Execution of the Traditional Model.

Sticking Point #1.

The first problem with this approach is that people mouth canned openers
without a context for them. Style had an entire post dedicated to this point
alone, so I won’t go into detail here. (Rooting - problem with the who lies
more opener)

If you want to use opinion openers either: A. Genuinely care about the topic.
-or- B. Make sure it’s obvious that the opinion opener is just an excuse to
talk to her. (In this case, ask it and then quickly change topics)

Sticking Point #2.

Secondly, guys spend hours and hours on this website, learning material,
preparing a routine stack which is designed to engage girls. These guys go out
of their way to learn these girly topics of conversation which the majority of
us aren’t really interested in, just to get female attention. And then on top
of that, they pretend that they aren’t really interested in fucking the girls!
Then, the moment they “stack” these girly openers and DHV’s, she’s CONVINCED
they want something and she knows exactly what they are up to. Feigning
disinterest now becomes highly incongruent. I mean seriously. To go out of
your way to learn girly topics of conversation, just to have permission to talk
to chicks is SUPPLICATION. Entering a females reality just so we can talk to
her for a few minutes with the hopes of fucking her is ridiculous!

Here’s an analogy. What if a girl went out of her way to learn all about
sports or cars or (insert masculine topic here), even though she didn’t really
like or understand these things - just so she could relate to guys in
conversation? This girl doesn’t really care about these things, but is
pretending to, and spending hours and hours on the internet learning about
them, just so she has permission to talk to guys. Does this telegraph that she
has an interesting life? Is she telegraphing that she is a valued commodity?
NO! Exactly the opposite. If a girl like this came up to me, and talked about
things that interested me, I might engage her for a bit, but would I be
ATTRACTED TO HER? Hell no. Now what if she kept changing subjects and kept
desperately trying to find something I wanted to talk about… would that make
me more likely to find her interesting?

It may appear to work marvelously because it gets new guys into set, because
now they are actually talking to girls whereas previously they stood there and
did nothing, having absolutely zero context. But the majority of people
reading this do not need that kind of content to be interesting to women.
Learning girly topics of conversation WILL get you to open more sets
consistently - but it’s under an entertainment / girlfriend frame, and while
things will seem great that night, she will be almost guaranteed to flake. You
won’t get laid.

I’ve questioned SHBs (after I’ve slept with them and they’re more honest) about
this. These are girls who go out and are almost always the hottest girls in
the club, wherever they go. This is what one of them told me:

“Yeah sometimes we talk to guys out of pity. If a guy seems really weird or is
dressed gay or something, we’ll talk to him just so we can laugh about him
later. It’s fun. He thinks he’s getting somewhere, but then at the end we run
away from him laughing.”

Girls will talk to sufficiently weird enough guys who “seem gay” for THEIR OWN
ENTERTAINMENT. This is a fact, and very common with hot girls. They will sit
there and eye code each other, loving it, not because they are sexually
attracted, but OUT OF PITY. Don’t design your game so that you are becoming
this type of guy. Sure you are opening more sets, but it’s for the wrong
reason.

Sticking Point #3.

Demonstrating Higher Value. The reason why this is detrimental once again goes
back to the mindset behind it. Feeling the need to demonstrate higher value is
the same feeling that an AFC has when he starts bragging about his job or car
or girls he’s banging. Sure, you are using a more sophisticated technique, but
the mindset and beliefs behind it are EXACTLY THE SAME.

Never go out of your way to demonstrate higher value. Assume higher value!
You’re the fucking man! You have higher value automatically!

I tell plenty of stories in set, but I do it for fun, because I’m having fun
doing it — not with the intent of “proving myself” to the girl.

Sticking Point #4.

It is impossible to fake disinterest 100% of the time. Even if you memorize 5
stories, 3 teases and absolutely MASTER the backturn, it doesn’t matter because
you’ll fail the next test she throws at you. Women are CONTINUALLY testing
guys they are attracted to, and most of it doesn’t fit a predetermined pattern
– IT’s NONVERBAL. I get tested all the time by women. They’re thinking “Who
the fuck does he think he is, this skinny little fucker… I’m gonna see if
he’s for real. I hope he’s not wasting my time.” So they have to test you.
They don’t want to fuck some ingenuine guy that faked the first 10 minutes
really well. You have got to be the real deal through and through, my friend.
And faking any more than you can back up, will just insight more intense tests
which you are bound to fail.

Don’t fake disinterest unless you can back it up 100%.

Sticking Point #5.

Relying on IOI’s in order feel like it’s *on*, instead of assuming attraction.
Thinking too much and calculating your behavior based on watching for IOI’s.
Don’t wait around for IOI’s before feeling good about the sarge. Her interest
will be based on your vibe anyway, and if your vibe is dependent on watching
for predetermined IOI’s, then you are leaving it up to chance.

Let’s face it, most IOI’s that people look for are pretty ordinary behaviors
that women exhibit when you talk to them anyway. Some of the popular one’s
I’ve heard are:

She asks you where you’re from - This is one of the most common pieces of
smalltalk when you’re first getting to know each other. She may be asking you
this just to be friendly, it doesn’t mean she wants to fuck you.

She touches you - women are actually more likely to touch you if they aren’t as
attracted to you, as a way of playing with you. If a woman senses extremely
high value, and is a bit intimidated, she is less likely to touch you. She is
also less likely to touch you first if you are very direct. Of course, if you
don’t even have a chance, she won’t touch you at all. Either way, unreliable
as an IOI.

Remember, one of the two things necessary in pickup is the belief that the girl
wants you. It may be difficult to believe at first but keep reminding yourself
of this, and train yourself to see *everything* she does as an IOI. Is she
looking at you when you talk? It’s on. Is she contributing to the
conversation? It’s on. Is she standing in your physical proximity? It’s ON!

Sticking Point #6.

Dropping the personality that initially attracted her as a part of a “phase
shift”, mistakenly thinking it takes X amount of time to attract a woman, or
feeling the need to “transition into” X,Y or Z.

It sounds like three different points, but really they all stem from the same
type of beliefs and mindsets. They come from leftover society programming like
“It takes a long time for women to become attracted.” or “Men have to earn a
woman’s attention and attraction.”

If you do actually do well to convey a fun personality to a chick in the first
few moments of meeting her, such that she is attracted to you, you should
maintain that same fun personality while getting to know her better and
deepening your connection. Intersperse your c+f and playfullness with your
rapport. But at all costs, stay congruent and do not become someone else
entirely.

On the flip side, do not stay in a perpetual attraction stage where you are
running material for the upwards of 10 - 20 minutes. That is WAY too long. If
you use a couple of fun pieces to open a set, and they respond well to that,
they have already made a positive judgement of you. Keep it light on the
material and rely more on sharing positive energy with the set, and
particularly your target.

Also a lot of people believe that you need a ‘transition’ to do certain things
- especially kinesthetic related actions like touching, kissing, and
cavemanning. You do not need a transition for these types of things. You just
need to do them with the full certainty that she will enjoy it. Decide what
you are going to do, and do it like you mean it.

Natural Game.

If you’re going to make the transition to natural game, start out simple. It
takes some getting used to, and requires attention on a couple of different
levels. It may seem awkward at first, especially if you are use to the
traditional indirect game model discussed above. But if you work with it and
gain ev