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The Compliance and Value Model
Value is of utmost importance in your interactions with women. It determines how willing a woman is to meet up with you, it determines a woman’s level of physical attraction for you, and ultimately, value determines how far a woman will go just to be in your life. Naturally, I get many questions from people asking me how they can increase their value:
“Do I raise my value through DHV storytelling, do I lower her value through negs and indifference or do I use push / pull or what?”
Firstly you must realize that value is almost entirely based on perception. That’s right. The only value that actually exists is inside the minds of the people around you. Sure there are things that society says is valuable, like how much money you make or what kind of car you drive, and based on society’s perception, some level of value can be assigned to people. But it is still just perception.
What I am going to present to you today is a fundamental model of value. What I mean is, this model determines the effect that other value-shifting techniques will have when they are used. Value shifters like stories containing DHV spikes and negs as well as social value cues like cocky humor and peacocking are all subject to this fundamental concept.
This means that all of the abovementioned techniques will work perfectly when you have this fundamental concept down, and will fall absolutely flat if you do not.
How compliance relates to value
The term compliance is used to measure the willingness a girl has to do something with you or for you. In short, getting a girl to talk to you when you approach her requires some level of compliance. Getting a girl to buy you drink requires a little bit more compliance, and of course getting a girl to the point where she is open to having sex with you requires even more.
Compliance is directly proportional to value. The higher your perceived value, the more compliance you will naturally get from a woman. The higher you perceive a woman’s value, the more compliant you will be to her, automatically.
Let me illustrate the fundamental nature compliance has with relation to value. If you tell a story about something off-the-wall that happened when you were chillin’ at the Playboy Mansion, it can quite potentially be a demonstration of higher value. Let’s say you use this Playboy Mansion DHV, but then she tests you by asking you to hold her drink while she dances, and you oblige. Your entire story is now negated. Since compliance is more fundamental than a story, she is perceiving your value based on the former.
If instead of holding her drink, you instead explain that you might meet up with her later, then you would have been congruent and retained the value from the story. In fact, you could have been having a conversation with her about the mating patterns of the blue-jay in New England, and you would still have higher value. The Value-Compliance relationship is fundamental.
Here is where it gets interesting. The compliance scales are different for men and women. Typically, men seek compliance based in replication value. That is, they are out to get a woman’s sexual value. They want to be close to a woman, touch her, kiss her and have sex with her. Women on the other hand, seek compliance based in survival value. Traditionally, women have urges toward getting protection, shared living space, and financial support from men.
In fact, if you look at the nearly extinct paradigm of dating and marriage, and make two bars representing a man and a woman’s compliance scales, the relationship becomes very clear. (Fig. 1a)
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Here I have made two bars, each representing a man and woman’s relative values. The height of the bar represents their perceived value. (The man and woman have equal value in this diagram) The tick marks along the side represent the levels of compliance that are available for each person. In this diagram, the man has potential to get sex from the woman, and the woman has potential to get marriage from the man.
I know some of you are laughing as you realize that most women don’t wait until marriage to have sex. That’s fine. This model is just an illustration of the compliance scales of men and women that everyone can relate to. We’ll get into some common scenarios and practical application a little later.
Actually, this diagram is rather generous. In our society, the issue is further confused by the idea that a man must ‘win over’ a woman with a diamond ring in order to marry her - A frame of mind like that leaves a man with such little perceived value!
Keep in mind, the actual compliance levels are quite arbitrary. I have labeled them for illustration, but in general just remember that a woman seeks compliance related to her immediate survival and the immediate survival of her family, while a man seeks compliance related to genetic survival and accessing a healthy, beautiful woman’s genes through sex. So we will see women chasing things like emotional strength, leadership and wealth, and we will see men chasing things like pretty faces and hot bodies.
Evolution has created this situation for us.
Mutual Compliance Escalation
When a man and a woman meet, and become involved with each other, they take turns being compliant to each other.
A man approaches a woman, she in turn gives him attention and talks to him. He asks her a few questions to screen her, she then complies and answers. He complies by qualifying her with a nice compliment. He asks her to go window shopping with him and she agrees, etc.
On and on you go until you have reached full compliance from the woman. Unfortunately most men never even achieve full compliance from a woman, yet surrender their own full compliance all the time. It is a common mistake to believe that the more compliance you give, the more you will get from a woman and the more she will be attracted to you.
So, a man and a woman go back and forth escalating compliance in a mutual way from one rung of the ladder to the next. You can see it illustrated in Fig 1b:
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Keep in mind this is not to be confused with Mutual Value Escalation, which instead means raising the levels of both of your value bars relative to the people around you via leadership, future adventure projections, teamwork / role playing frames and dominance over others.
In order to move to the next level of compliance, two things are necessary. Firstly, you need perceived value of at least the same level or higher than the girl. Your value creates attraction and a willingness to comply. The second thing you need is comfort and trust. After all, women don’t go around sleeping with every guy that has higher value than them.
The purpose of comfort and trust is so the girl feels safe knowing that the compliance escalation will continue after her current action. Both of these are needed in proportion to the level of the request you are making. Being compliant to her requests is one way of developing comfort and trust, but it is recommended to only comply with small requests that you don’t mind fulfilling. Hold off on complying to the large requests at first, since it has potential to be quite detrimental to your value. Take your time with the escalation and be sure to go through the full process of screening and qualification (both false and genuine).
Attraction is the result of withheld compliance. Whatever compliance a girl feels she deserves but doesn’t yet have, produces attraction to you, the source of value. Screening and qualification is what makes her feel as though your compliance is worth pursuing. The best way to engage a girl, therefore is to demonstrate high value and produce relevant qualification.
A couple other things are worth mention. Asking a person to do something, and having them reject you puts your value into flux. (We’ll talk about value flux a little later, when we discuss application) When a person declines your compliance request, it is not necessarily because they perceive your value as being low it it usually just because they aren’t sure what your value is yet. Look at a rejection as an opportunity.
When your request is rejected, your value is in flux, and it is an opportunity for you to define it with your subsequent actions.
For instance, if you go to kiss a girl, and she rejects you, it’s not necessarily because she perceives your value as being low. It is simply because she’s not sure. If you go and try to kiss her again, right away, you may lose some points with her. If you get angry or upset, or otherwise deflated or thrown off your game, you will certainly lose value. If, on the other hand you are cool and nonchalant about it, or you humorously tease her and joke about it, your perceived value will increase. At that point, you can safely try again at a later time and your chances of getting the kiss will have improved.
Orbiters and Let’s Just Be Friends (LJBF)
Let’s look at the special case where the man has lower perceived value than the woman. (Fig. 2a)
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Notice that sex is completely out of reach.
No matter what a man does, he cannot get a woman of much higher value to comply to having sex with him. As a result, a woman will usually tell him “Let’s just be friends.” He becomes one of her many ‘orbiters’ and continues to fight a battle leading nowhere. In fact, there is both an instinctual and societal motivation for women to lure the men in their lives into this type of role. After all, evolutionarily, this meant more men to help raise the children she was having with the alpha male.
Realize however, that depending on how high the value is, the orbiter will be able to get some kind of compliance from the woman, even if it isn’t full-on sex. In Fig. 2a, you can see that this fellow can get a kiss from her every now and then. How sweet.
Also, it doesn’t mean he has to marry her to get a kiss. It is sufficient that she already knows she could get married to the guy, if she were so inclined. That is why the concept of the ‘no-challenge’ switch is so important. The woman has these men at her disposal for whatever survival value she wishes to take from them: Companionship, dates, spending money, backup for her real boyfriend, everything is fair game.
Players and Fuck-Buddy (FB) Relationships
Just as common as women who collect orbiters, there are guys who sleep around with many different women, no strings attached. Let’s examine Fig. 2b.
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Notice that marriage is completely out of reach.
There is nothing this woman can do to get this guy to marry her. In fact, in this this guy probably isn’t going to be exclusive with her. Basically, all this guy has to do is show up, talk to her and give her some good emotions, and she will have sex with him. Hence the term “Fuck-Buddy”. She does however have a chance at getting dinner every once in a while, so we can call this example an “upgraded” FB relationship.
Unlike women, who have both instinctual and societal motivations to lower the perceived value of their mates, for men it is merely instinctual. Societal programming tends to motivate men into beta-provider type roles. Look around and you’ll see evidence everywhere. Deep down, our genes are telling us otherwise.
Most men, whether they admit to it or not, would love to have a few different sex partners that they aren’t committed to. After all, what kind of man doesn’t like sexual variety? From an evolutionary standpoint, these are the women that will bear his children, as he proliferates his genes.
The interesting thing is, looking at Fig. 2b, we realize that this is still a traditional mindset. The escalation of compliance levels still leads to marriage. Players in this society still usually get married if they find the “right” woman. They are searching for that one woman who has high enough value or good enough game to get them to make a commitment.
Once a man has a few girls who cater to his every need, it becomes less exciting. There’s no more challenge and nothing left to chase. What both sexes want ultimately, is high levels of compliance from high value people.
In addition, the fact that sex is so high on a woman’s scale of compliance is both an outdated traditional model and unacceptable for our purposes.
In fact, I will go so far to say that the true fundamental goal of a real pickup artist is to lower the effective compliance of sex, and move it lower on the scale.
Tools and Application
Reverse Supplication Levels
What many guys realize as they become better with women, is that sex isn’t necessarily at the very top of a woman’s compliance scale.
We’ve all seen women who do everything for their men. They buy them gifts, cook them dinner and clean their apartments. There are women who would practically die for their men.
We also know about pimps who have their hoes out on the streetcorner, every night making money for them. These women are selling their bodies to strangers to earn money so that their men are taken care of.
Talk about a high level of compliance!
At first, it may seem completely unreal to ever have women that compliant to you. After all, there are many guys who cannot even get their girlfriends to call have sex with them!
It turns out to be quite easy, actually, and is based on a few simple dynamics. There are all kinds of levels of compliance that reside beyond sex, leading up to full compliance which is defined as willingness to either die for a man or commit her life to his cause. Prostitution fits this basic definition close enough.
The levels that reside beyond sex leading all the way up to prostitution are called the reverse supplication levels. I have defined reverse supplication as a man receiving survivial-type compliance from a woman. Inserting the reverse supplication levels into a woman’s compliance scale gives us Fig. 3a.
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As you can see I have filled in some examples into the reverse supplication levels. Dinner, clothing, a new car, all the way leading up to prostitution. Playing at that level is pimp game and I’m not interested in that right now. Between sex and prostitution is a very real region, of which holds many interesting possibilities.
Just the simple acknowledgment of these levels lowers the effective compliance of sex. Bringing these levels into existence by reaching for them will make sex come that much easier. Value is only perception, and if you are overshooting the goal of sex by making larger requests, you can be perceived as having extremely high value.
In other words, if all you want is sex, the best way to get it, is to simply set your sights BEYOND it.
* Ask a girl to write you a poem or draw you a picture
* Ask her what kind of girls she likes before you’ve even slept with her
* Assume you’re going to sleep with other girls in her social circle before you’ve even slept with her
* Find out if she has any connections to club owners and tell her you’d like VIP access
Keep in mind, you aren’t taking value from others, you are merely increasing your own perceived value, such that everything you give is appreciated to a higher degree. It will make everything you do that much more powerful. People will be more likely to listen to you, more likely to laugh at your jokes and more likely to try to get rapport with you.
I won’t go too far into this here, but the basic formula for escalating compliance is to take it one small step at a time. We aren’t talking a few dates, this stuff can take months. Compliance is pliable. When you have a woman at breaking point and push her threshold, her maximum level of compliance increases.
Another key is making it fun and worthwhile for a woman to do these things. Make your requests that are related to your identity. If you are a chef, have her pick up some groceries so you can prepare a romantic dinner. If you are an artist, have her pick up a new set of brushes, and let her watch you create a masterpiece. Build a lifestyle in which the two of you can share.
Though this article is only a small portion of my entire reverse supplication method, it is still powerful enough to warrant two points of caution. Firstly, do not use this method for abuse. Women do these things because they love us and care for us. Don’t run this on a poor college girl, and don’t run it on a woman you aren’t willing to be straight with. Use it carefully to develop your lifestyle and enhance the experiences that you share together. Secondly, don’t ever become so dependent that you lose responsibility for yourself. If it ever gets to the point that you cannot maintain your finances or keep your apartment clean all by yourself, you’ll be in trouble. Trust me on this one.
Set High Expectations
When it comes to value, nothing beats having high expectations of other people and putting a price on yourself.
So many guys are willing to sacrifice their own best interests in order to make a girl happy, or to get together with her. Don’t go driving two hours out of the way just to see her, don’t ditch your buddies to hang out with her, and don’t volunteer to buy her dinner if you’ve just met her.
In addition, you should expect women to respect you and treat you well. If you compliment a woman, expect her to respond positively to it. Many guys fail with compliments because they don’t hold her to high expectations and instead continue to be nice to her after she has disrespected them by ignoring the compliment.
Make a woman commit to giving you full attention when you are communicating with her, whether it be in person, on the phone or even in a chat room. Also be willing to walk away if she doesn’t meet your standards. There are plenty of women that will. Most of the time a willingness to walk will only help you, and draw them in closer.
The best way to punish bad behavior is with indifference. Any reaction whatsoever is actually a reward, because it telegraphs your emotional investment. Sometimes it helps to make it absolutely clear what she did wrong in a dominant, (not angry) voice, and then follow it with indifference, both physical and verbal.
Value Flux and Reward Calibration
There are times in an interaction with a woman when your value is in flux. That is, your value has no definition. Realize that this is not necessarily a bad thing but rather an opportunity to define it.
The first situation that causes value flux was mentioned above - it is when you make a compliance request. For example you try to kiss her, and she either obliges or rejects you. Your value is then defined by your reaction to it.
The second situation is when a girl displays good behavior. That is, she does something to indicate a higher level of compliance then where she was at previously. For example: she calls you, she follows you as you lead her around the club, or she buys you a new pair of shoes. These are all examples of good behavior.
Good behavior should never be punished, except in small amounts. In general it should be rewarded. Sometimes punishing good behavior in small amounts works to confuse her and obsess about you. Major jumps in positive compliance in her part should be rewarded.
But how should her good behavior be rewarded?
Let’s take a look at Figure 4a which illustrates what happens when a woman does something good, and your value is in flux.
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In this example, the woman has kissed you. In general this behavior is in the right direction and should be rewarded. There is a wide range of ways to do this, but keep in mind, your reward will define your value, and therefore how she responds to you in the future. Let’s say after the kiss, you decide to make her your girlfriend and be exclusive to her. See Figure 4b.
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So the girl kisses you, and you decide to be exclusive to her. You start the “relationship talk” and tell her you’ve decided that you only want to see her. Bad move. It would probably result in her telling you to take a hike, unless she’s a virgin and kissing is pretty high on her scale anyway.
Since exclusivity is pretty high on your compliance scale, transposing your value bar so that it lines up with kissing would result in an extremely low perceived value.
Ok let’s see what happens instead if you merely give her a compliment after she has kissed you. Take a look at Figure 4c.
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As we see there, rewarding her kiss with a simple compliment goes a lot further. You will create a much higher perceived value for yourself, and in the process increase your chances of more positive responses in the future.
By creating a large amount of perceived value, you present yourself as a challenge to be overcome. A woman will realize that her efforts will be both appreciated and at the same time, it will be an interesting chase.
Previously I mentioned that it is the ultimate goal to lower the effective level of sexual compliance. That is, get it as low as possible on the compliance scale. Using these concepts, it shouldn’t be very difficult.
Eventually it will get to a point where it hits the bottom and drops off her scale altogether.
The True Alpha Male
Although both value bars for the man and woman may be high, through skillful game and correct attitudes, the effective compliance of sex will eventually drop off the bottom of the woman’s bar.
Where does it go once that happens?
To your compliance scale.
Any given interaction between a man and a woman must appear on either the man or the woman’s side. (One party always wants something a little bit more than the other, no matter how slight the difference may be) So it may not have a lot of weight, but it is going to show up on one of the scales.
If you reduce the compliance of sex so much that it disappears from the woman’s bar, it must appear on your side. This is what happens when you truly become the prize of the interaction.
Figure 5 Illustrates the flipped compliance scales, where a man is chased for his replication value and his woman contributes to the bulk of their survival value.
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This situation represents a natural and fundamental scenario of a true alpha male.
This happens when the highest value that a woman can contribute is her energy and resources, and the highest contribution the man can make is his genes.
This is the difference between a real alpha male and what the general population believes is alpha. Since most people identify alphas with taking up space, walking slow and talking very loud, this is a significant improvement.
Keep in mind although full compliance is defined here as prostitution, it doesn’t mean the girls are actually selling themselves at full compliance, it just means that they would be willing to and their man knows fully he has that power over them.
While most men are out there struggling just to get the pussy, you can rise above that. I invite you now to imagine fully what is possible.
Don’t set your goals so low that you would be thrilled just to get laid. Realize the bigger picture of what is possible. Live a lifestyle where women are making your dreams come true in every area of your life.
In what ways can a woman support your aspirations and contribute to your happiness?
Allow them to bring you excitement and energy, and imagine a life where they are doing all of this simply for the opportunity to please you sexually.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you check out the version with nice fonts and spacing, and illustrative graphs here:
The Compliance and Value Model