Ok, this is gonna sound like classic pickup marketing crap – “Hey guys, I only have a minute, there are two Playboy bunnies waiting outside for me in a Bugatti, but I’m gonna let you guys know about our awesome new product…” – but I actually do have to write this quickly because I’m meeting a date in twenty minutes. I just set this up on the spur of the moment. Actually, I’ll blog that interaction real quick.

I initiated by texting her some miscalibrated gibberish. She responded with something like “Dude, what the hell are you talking about?” but instead of being fazed and texting some sheepish reply, I texted back, “Don’t u take that tone with me, by [guy we both know]’s holy top hat I won’t have it.” From that point on, the texting was playful and fun, and eventually I hit the dial button and called her.

This girl really put up a fight on the phone when I suggested meeting up… “It’s raining,” “I’m in my PJs,” “I’m not going to come out,” “I’m competitive and you’re not going to win.” My answer to almost all of these? Credit my homie Jeffrey Lewis Allen the Ninth (of the San Francisco Allens) for this response: “Irrelevant.”

“It’s raining.” “Irrelevant. Let’s go.” “I’m in my PJs.” “Irrelevant. Come on.” “I don’t want to go out tonight.” “Your wishes are irrelevant. Let’s go.”

The name of the game is “persistence,” and the name of the frame is “unwavering certainty.” I wasn’t even envisioning a possible future where she stayed home. She was coming out and that was that.

At one point, I busted out a hilarious, powerful move straight from Sebastian Drake. The girl called me out on being presumptuous, and I said something like, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Hm. I guess this is a little silly of me… kinda inappropriate… [pause] … so what bar should we meet at?” This is really money – when a woman criticizes you for doing something, act sheepish and contrite for a second… pause… then keep doing what you were doing. To use an extreme example: “Hey girls, how about the two of you come home with me tonight?” “That’s incredibly rude! Do you think we’re sluts or something?” “Huh… [brow furrowed, looking pensive] wow, I guess you’re right. That was pretty inappropriate, sorta rude… [lose the pensive look] so, you coming?” It shows you’re rock-solid, plus it’s funny – sometimes they’ll actually laugh. I know I did when Sebastian taught it to me.

And, finally, my finishing move: “Come on, you know this is going to end the fun way, not the lame way. Let’s go.” Fatality – flawless victory.

(I should mention that I wasn’t consciously thinking tactics during this phone conversation, analyzing what “tech” I should use or anything like that. That won’t work well – conversations flow and change at the speed of thought, and there’s no time for in-depth mental processing. I just talked, keeping my mind clear and relaxed as with any normal conversation, and stuff I had learned in the past bubbled up on its own when it was needed.)

So that was setting up the date. On a different note, here are the two simple techniques from Sebastian that will help you build more attraction during conversation

Get Her Talking More With a “Go on…” Indicator

It’s super-powerful to get a girl invested in her interaction with you – we’ve talked about this before, and Sebastian has expanded on this idea a ton in past writings. To that end, it’s actually great to let the girl do most of the talking in a conversation. So many guys hear “It’s important to lead the interaction” and translate that in their minds as “Talk, talk, talk. Talk her goddamn face off.” No no no. Get her talking – that way, she’s putting in work and investing in the interaction. Here’s the simplest way to do that: tell her to. After she says something, just indicate that you’d like to hear more. Give her a “Go on…” indicator. The more nonverbally you can do this, the better. So the best way is just a subtle, “expectant” facial expression, the slightly raised eyebrows and slight inclining of the head that say “Go on…” You know what I mean. The next best way is with a casual gesture, a “Go on…” rolling of the hand. Finally, you can also do it by straight-up saying something like “Hm, tell me more about that…” All these work. Remember, though, the more you rely on nonverbals and the more subtlety you employ, the more powerful your communications and your presence become.

Crap, guys… really gotta run. I’ll get this up tonight or early tomorrow morning, cross my wee heart.

[Ok, I’m back at my computer. It’s about 2 AM. Anyway, back to the post…]

Subtly Screen with the “Evaluating Look”

This one is very simple. It’s an easy way to inject some light screening into a conversation. After she tells you something about herself (”I really like adult Christian contemporary rock,” or “Last night I fought off three muggers using nothing but my bare fists and my Praying Mantis Kung Fu,” or whatever), squint a little bit as if you’re mulling over and evaluating what she just said. Give that just a second, then qualify her with a teensy bit of hesitance in your voice: [Evaluating look] “Hm… yeah, that’s cool.” Like that.

For the facial expressions I’ve mentioned in this post: don’t try to remember them using a physical breakdown like “Ok, raise eyebrows, incline head…” or what have you. That’s a waste of brainpower, totally unnatural, and will probably come off (unsurprisingly) as weird. Instead, just remember what each expression is supposed to convey. Just look expectant, or pensive, or like you’re evaluating something. Your face knows how to do that.

Have fun!
Clark