Oh snap, Clark in the heezy! I just finished a huge batch of work that took up a lot of my time these last few weeks - I feel like I just took off a backpack full of anvils, and it feels mm-mm good. Just popping in for a second to share a quick e-mail I shot to a buddy of mine. We met these two lingerie models last weekend at a show they were working, enjoyed some good conversation, and got their numbers.* My girl was a bit more outgoing and social than his, so I’ve been having an easier time texting, setting up the meet-up, etc. He asked for my thoughts on how to proceed with texting (we’re all about texting at theApproach; it hands-down beats calling right away, for like a zillion reasons). This is what I wrote back:

As for your sitch… hm. I know what Sebastian would say in this situation… although maybe there’s some of my own spin in there, dunno. Take it with a grain of salt, but anyway:

Send her occasional “no response required” texts basically giving her whimsical updates on your awesome life. “just saw spider fighting wasp in middle of its web, crazy discovery channel shit” or “hot cocoa greatest invention of all time thank u swiss miss” or whatever. Just to keep you in her thoughts in a fun, non-needy way until it’s time to strike (hell, mass text these to a bunch of girls - get some mileage out of them). When you have something awesome to do (preferably sooner rather than later, of course), invite her along, like: “friend hosting wine and games. most expensive board game in world must b good. he said i need a smart partner, thought of u.” When I feel like I’ve actually lost it with a girl these days, I just hold off on texting until I have something super awesome to do, then invite… it’s already brought a few back from the brink for me.

Looking forward to your glorious return to Boston. See you soon homie.

This gives some insight into Sebastian’s ideas on texting, which I’ll be posting more about in the future. Real quick, let’s briefly note a couple things.

The “whimsical update” texts (my moronic term, please don’t blame Sebastian for that) don’t require or even really invite a response. If she wants to reply, she absolutely can, but there’s no pressure or expectation that she will. If she doesn’t, it doesn’t hurt you. This type of text is money. If there are a few women that you want to share your “whimsical updates” with, well… the “mass text” feature is a beautiful thing. S’all I’m saying.

Of course, it can’t be all “ooh spider vs. wasp” and “yum hot cocoa” nonsense all the time. Eventually you do have to… gulp… actually invite her to come do something. But even then, avoid asking questions and demanding responses if you can, at least on the initial text. Once you guys are texting back and forth or talking on the phone, feel free to ask questions and do whatever you’d do in a normal conversation.

Keep your texts short when you can. The examples I whipped up in the e-mail are probably at the long end of “acceptable.” Abbreviate when it actually saves you time. Don’t worry much about punctuation and neatness. In fact, a text that looks like it went through a professional editing process comes off as a bit try-hard and weird.

*Not something that would have happened to me just a few months ago, when my social skills were fine but unspectacular - certainly not a few years ago, when girls truly scared the crap out of me. I wish I could send a telegram back through time and tell my college-freshman self that everything’s going to be ok. Kinda reminds me of this badass old milk commercial. “Hi Clark… I’m waiting.” Heh.