Hey guys, today we’re gonna cover my lesson with Sebastian on keeping conversations flowing on good topics. This one was really cool. I’m super-busy for the next few days and have to keep this post short, but I’ve got a lot more to share with you guys that this entry doesn’t cover. That includes more lessons with Sebastian, as well as some crazy nights I’ve had out in the bars and clubs. Keep an eye out over the next week or so.

Lesson with Sebastian Drake: Threadcutting

Threadcutting

Threadcutting is the technique of taking one word or theme from a sentence and spinning it into a new, situationally relevant conversational thread. Once you lock this down, you’ll never find yourself “stranded” in conversation, even if you’re feeling out of state. Threadcutting lets you continue a conversation even with someone who’s not giving you much to work with. To show this, let’s look at a sample sentence. Imagine you ask a woman, “So, what did you do today?” and she responds with:

“I had a low-key day - I chilled out, watched some TV, and had a beer.”

That is some weak sauce, man. Not much to work with at all. But we can use threadcutting to make something out of it and keep the conversation flowing.

Threadcutting with Words

Ok, let’s pull all the significant words out of that sentence.

• Low-key
• Day
• Chilled
• TV
• Beer

For threadcutting, all you do is pick one of those words and use it to form a new sentence that kicks off a new thread of conversation. It can be on a similar topic or a completely different one; for whatever reason, using a word from the original sentence as a jump-off makes the second sentence seem sitrel, no matter what it’s about. For example:

Low-key: “Aw man, I wanted to have a low-key evening last night, but my friends dragged me out to a bar - fun times, though.”

Beer: “Yeah? The weirdest thing with beer - my parents were so anti-drinking when I was a teenager, but last night I was talking to my dad and I mentioned I was having a little trouble sleeping, and he told me to just down a beer before bed. So weird to hear that from my Dad, but I gave it a try and I slept like a log.”

Threadcutting with Themes

You can do the exact same thing by pulling out themes from a sentence, instead of words, and using those to start new threads. From the same sentence, “I had a low-key day - I chilled out, watched some TV, and had a beer,” we can get these themes:

• Relaxation
• Entertainment
• “Mind rot” entertainment
• Alcohol
• Intoxicants
• The media
• Stress-free experiences
• Food and drink

This works just the way it does when you threadcut using words. Examples:

Entertainment: “Yeah, TV’s great when I’m in need of some entertainment. I actually saw this great play the other day - it was so fun and entertaining, even though I’m not usually a theater person.”

Alcohol: “Wow, it’s been a while since I had a drink. I stopped drinking a few weeks ago, just to see temporarily what it’s like to go out at night without the social lubricant. Such a weird experience at first, but I’m really starting to like it.”

Tips on Threadcutting

Don’t be stilted in your language or long-winded. You’re not giving a speech; you’re just chatting.

Don’t try to be super-clever. This is the main mistake that smart people make with this, according to Sebastian. Don’t bother trying for “daredevil threadcuts” where you flip the meanings of words or whatever. “I had a fantastic day.” “Well, I saw the ‘Fantastic Four’ movie.” That doesn’t really work; don’t do that.

Pulling out every word or theme of a sentence was just for the sake of explaining the concept. You don’t need to do that in conversation. You only need to pull one thing from a sentence to threadcut - one word or one theme - so there’s no need to concentrate or analyze or do anything weird during conversation. Threadcutting is fairly easy.

Use of Threadcutting

Get the idea down, drill it a little (see below), and that alone will boost your conversational abilities overall. You’ll be caught less often with nothing to say - instead, you’ll instinctively pull one thing out of her last sentence and spin it into a new thread.

You don’t need to threadcut from every sentence. That’s not how normal conversations go – hopping constantly from thread to thread. When a conversational thread is going well, there’s no need to cut away from it. Just converse.

You only bring threadcutting to the conscious level when you want to slide away from a stale, boring, or otherwise undesirable topic. Threadcut until you find a conversational “oasis,” a topic that’s enjoyable and engaging, somewhere you want to stay awhile. Chill in the oasis and chat normally, until you get the feeling that the topic is going to go stale. Don’t wait until it does stale and the conversation dips into a low point - threadcut away first. And onward to the next oasis.

Drilling Threadcutting

Practice threadcutting a little bit before taking it “into the field.” To use Sebastian’s analogy, don’t wait until the battle to fire a gun for the first time. One way to practice is to threadcut during conversations with people that you don’t really need to threadcut with, people you’re already very friendly and comfortable with.

Another way to practice threadcutting is to drill with a partner. Trade sentences with your partner, threadcutting back and forth. Don’t ask questions; only make statements. You can also do this with more than two people, going in a circle.

Try threadcutting out and see what it does for you. I’ve been having a lot of fun with this stuff.

Cheers,
Clark