Earlier today, I spoke on the phone with a grad student who’s doing a project on the “seduction community” for her master’s degree in sociology. What started out as an interview evolved into a fun, frank, and open dialog. She had a lot of interesting things to say and questions to ask, and the back-and-forth of the conversation jostled some new ideas out of my head too. A number of interesting points came up, and one in particular deserves mention here.

Elite Men, Elite Ethics

I feel a stronger responsibility to behave ethically toward women now, as a “pickup artist” (for lack of a better term), than I did before I got started with this stuff. This surprised my interviewer when I said it, and maybe it’s not the norm in the community, but it’s how I feel these days. I think more about how my actions impact others, and take greater care to avoid hurting people, than I ever have before. It feels good. And I attribute that shift 100% to my involvement in pickup.

Uncle Ben (Parker, not the rice dude) said it best: “With great power comes great responsibility.” The fact is, I can do a lot more damage now than I could once upon a time. There are more women in my life now, and the way I act toward them has a stronger emotional impact on them. When you’re attracted to someone, that person has the power to make you feel wonderful, as well as the power to make you suffer – from the dull, constant ache of being led on and used, to the devastation of being disdainfully rebuffed and humiliated.

I’ve been through that emotional punishment and felt every ounce of pain, and now I’m in a position where I might accidentally do it to others if I don’t watch myself. If I act callously or carelessly, I could hurt women I care about, women who deserve my respect. I guess some guys could see this newfound power as an opportunity for symbolic retribution against women who’ve wronged them in the past. Please don’t do that. Be the man you are now, not the avenger of the man you were then.

If we truly want to be elite men, we need elite ethics to match our social abilities. We should hold ourselves to a higher standard than the average guy. That doesn’t mean that it’s wrong to pursue anything besides a committed, exclusive, loving relationship. Oh hell no. I can go out and meet women – hell, I can go out and chase chicks – without hurting or disrespecting anyone, and that’s what I aim to do. I don’t have to get super-serious or give up the lifestyle that I want right now, and I get to feel great about myself and the way I move through the world. Everyone wins.

Developing our social skills gives us real power. Let’s use it like real men. Let’s be a positive force in this world: powerful, ethical, the masters of our own lives. Onward and upward, gents.

Cheers,
Clark