The Cherishment Cycle - what happens to everything we own, hold, or control. How to love and continue loving - or to fall quickly out of love.

When we cherish something, we love it, and tend to elevate it over mundane things that we feel ambivalent towards. When you buy a new gadget, article of clothing, CD, or other fragile expensive purchase - and you really love the new item you just got - you will treat it with great care and consideration.

As time passes, one of two things will happen:

*Your love for the item will continue to grow as you treat it with more reverance (like a journal), or, usually

*You will begin to lose the feeling of wonder and awe and the item will become mundane - eventually being treated as other mundane items are.

Take a beautiful jacket. Most men, even men who do not care so much about fashion, will at some point in their life buy a beautiful jacket. It may be a piece of high fashion, it may be a leather jacket, a motorcycling jacket, a sports jacket, it may be just a very warm, well-constructed jacket - but none the less, almost every man will buy a jacket that he loves in his lifetime.

After buying this jacket, he’s likely to treat it better than his other clothing, hanging it carefully and dusting it off ever so precisely after every wear. The man might even choose to wear an older jacket if it’s raining outside, or the elements are otherwise harsh.

But over time, the jacket almost always becomes an “old jacket” - and it is perhaps left on the floor at times, and not thoroughly cleaned off when it becomes dirty, and maybe not even mended when it starts to break.

See, for every item that you cherish, one of two things will happen to it: Your love for it will grow, or it will fade.

Why does this happen, and what does it mean for your lovelife?

First, what it means for your lovelife - when you and a girl start going out, there will be adulation, and adoration, and infatuation, and things will be absolutely wonderful. Over time, either the relationship will grow stronger and you will be more revered and cherished by your woman, or her feelings for you will fade and you will be like an old, once beautiful jacket lying on the floor.

So why does it happen?

The feeling of cherishment is strengthened through two things: Compliance, and Precedence. If you’ve been on our ecourse for any length of time, you know what compliance is - it’s almost any work or effort your woman puts into the interaction or to please you. But if you haven’t read our ebook or attended a course, you may be unfamiliar with how we use the word “precedence”.

“Precedence” is when something gains a default reaction to a certain stimulus. It’s one of only five factors you need to control for success in your social life:

Value, Attainability, Compliance (VAC) to create Attraction.

Attraction + Logistics to have sex.

Setting Precedence for a relationship.

Precedence is when someone gets used to reacting a certain way towards a stimulus. You probably have a default response to how you handle aggressive panhandlers, how you answer the phone when your best friend calls, and what you do on the 25th of December each year.

Precedence is set largely through how you react to certain things. To put it quickly, you want to reward good behavior, and punish bad behavior. When we say “punish”, we don’t mean anything mean or nasty - simply remove yourself, your time, withdraw if you’re being disrespected or treated poorly. That’s one of the largest punishments there is if you’re a high value guy.

If you want to keep your relationships wonderful after the initial spark, you need to get your woman to put work into it, ESPECIALLY when it’s new. If she begins working, it’s like writing in a diary - she’s made an inprint on it, and thus, she’ll treat it even more respectfully and carefully. Consider that you’re more likely to keep treating shoes well if you shine them, and that the only jackets that are treated well after a couple years were either earned or heavily modified by the user. It’s cyclical - putting more work in is being good to the item, which makes you want to be continue to do right by it.

So get her to put in work towards you, so she can feel she made her inprint on you and that you’re hers.

Then make sure she comes to feel this on a subconscious level:

“If I cherish and revere this man, my life will be better.”

And it must be true. Nothing gets our ire like something we invest in turning against us - if we treat something very well, and its value dissolves on us, we feel betrayed and want to stop respecting it, carefully cleaning and placing it.

The fact is, the initial cherishment/appreciate/infatuation will either turn into something greater, or it will fade to discontentment. To elevate it, you must get her to put in significant work, and reward that work heavily to set a positive precededent. A few tips:

*After she does something good for you, reveal more about yourself to her.

*Tell her how much you appreciate things that she does.

*Point out that you like and respect her.

*NEVER tease her for liking you too much, or working too hard (this is a BIG no-no!)

*Reward her with physicality when she says or does something to please you (give her a light touch or kiss)

*Honestly care about her, smile warmly when you see her, and enjoy the time you spend with her when things are good, and…

*Most honestly and crucially, remove yourself or your time from the interaction when things are poor.

If your girl gets the impression, “If I am happy, pleasant, and am meeting my man’s standards, our relationship feels good, gets better, and I’m happy” - you’ll both be in great shape. Your relationship will be like a diary being written in, or a jacket specifically cleaned, re-tailored, and customized every single day. Treat her well when she treats you well, and get her to start treating you well early and often - Cherishment gets deeper or fades. T’is a sad day if you let it fade away, but years of ever-greater magic can be built on the foundation of it.

Best wishes,

Sebastian